Sunday, 30 December 2007

A Brief History Of Time

It's almost the end of the year, I'm not home tomorrow much and probably won't have time for a diary entry so I thought I'd reflect on the year tonight.

In January I was involved in a Vanilla relationship with a lovely guy that although we made fabulous friends, as lovers it was too intense on some levels and yet no way it could work on others, basically doomed (as later proved to be) to failure.

February and on into March the same, with several hiccups and me missing what I'd experienced with Cyan last year, I knew I needed Chocolate with my Vanilla. There were even a couple of times when I thought things may start up again with Cyan, but it didn't happen, mostly because I recognised how selfish he is, no give and all take. But who else would be able to coax me into submission the way he could? I couldn't envisage anyone really, not that suited all my needs.

When Ged broke up with me in March I immersed myself in the lifestyle more and more, taking on a girl as a submissive in March.
Now I've never been sexually attracted to females, my only experience with a woman was with Cyan last year, and to say nothing much happened between me and her is an understatement really, so I can't say why I took pet on, but she appealed to me on several levels.

March and April I played with my new found pet as often as possible, setting her rules for her life to help improve her self esteem and her quality of life in general. Every rule I set her had a reason and most definitely not for me to get a kick from, that's not how it works for me when it comes to rules, there has to be a logical reason and a need for it to be set in the first place.

Still in April and I released pet, she'd done something so serious I couldn't even punish her for it as absolution, she broke my trust and without that there can be nothing.
I was hurt beyond belief, my pet was so lovable and desperate to please I couldn't understand how or why she could do this.

In May I was persuaded by a Dom we both know to take her back, we went to see her together and talked things through, needless to say I agreed under certain conditions to give her another chance.
I was also introduced to one of the most important people in my life in May, a mutual friend brought us together as she thought we'd get on, and she was more right than even she could imagine.
I love Felix and we just clicked from our first phone conversation, he's like the mirror image of my Dominant half, and we've so many things in common it's uncanny. We have no secrets from each other, and are so at ease we can discuss even the most intimate details of our lives without being embarrassed.
Thank you wench for bringing this amazing person into my life, shame you won't pay my mobile bills though lmao.

Flaming June, play continued and I was all over the place as usual trying to fit everything in. Oh and somewhere around this time I went to visit a Dom, I'll be kind and say he was not experienced and I didn't suit his requirements.

July I went to see wench again, first visit was June and same as before we hit it off, she's the mirror of my submissive side, although she's been in denial about her need to submit for a long time and is only now beginning to accept it. I do understand as I find it a huge challenge myself, far easier for me to let the Dominant out, but then some part of me feels unfulfilled.

I'll finish this next time, too much for one entry.

"The most powerful sexual organ in the body is our brain, open your mind and allow your fantasies free reign, mutual pleasure between consenting adults is a wonderful thing."

Saturday, 29 December 2007

This Earth Or Fullers?

Incredibly tired today, I'm not an early morning person really and work has been busy to say the least. I feel a little guilty I've not had much time for Master this week, but I know He understands, thank goodness life will get back to what resembles normality in a few days.

I think sometimes people forget that I'm a switch since Master collared me. What planet is a Dom from who tells the girl I look after that he is going to "make" me release her from my protective collar so he can have her.

I suspect there is going to be a little upset, because nobody tells me what I will do except my Master, and I submit only to Him, but even so any submissive has the right to say no, being submissive does not mean you're a doormat.

Something else that I feel others in the lifestyle have a hard time accepting is that I am a switch, and no it's not just a kinky bedroom game for me.
I take this all very seriously, I could never submit to anyone I know I could have submit to me, both sides of my persona are completely separate.

Before I met Master the first time He was tested in subtle (and some not so subtle) ways to see if He would submit to me, amazing how many Doms didn't even make it past the first test, several contacted me confessing submissive desires.
Others within a very short time of corresponding with them found themselves wanting me to Domme them, apparently I discovered and pressed buttons they didn't know they had.
Now that's something I do get a kick from, exploring people and discovering their hidden or even unknown desires, helps me in no small way to learn about myself too.

"The most powerful sexual organ in the body is our brain, open your mind and allow your fantasies free reign, mutual pleasure between consenting adults is a wonderful thing."

Friday, 28 December 2007

Steel Band

Well today my new collar arrived with Master, although I've only seen a photo of it, it looks fabulous.
Next Monday He will place it around my neck and I'll wear it proudly.
Oh yes New Years eve we've a party to attend with several other D/s couples, now that should be interesting as apparently there are some games planned, and you can bet it's not scrabble or musical chairs; more like pass the parcel and musical subbies.

"The most powerful sexual organ in the body is our brain, open your mind and allow your fantasies free reign, mutual pleasure between consenting adults is a wonderful thing."

Thursday, 27 December 2007

Christmas Wenteth

It's been a quick Christmas that's for sure, spent most of it driving all over the place, family, Master, home, work; I'm almost glad it's nearly over.

There's been no play, but a fair amount of Vanilla sex with just a few Chocolate sprinkles, seems sometimes Master has only to look at me to become erect, not that I'm complaining, far from it.
I love being touched, kissed and fucked and as far as I'm concerned being woken up with a finger on my clit or stroking my nipple, and let's face it what better way to start the day than an orgasm or two?

Christmas night we spent the whole night together, I love being curled up next to Master, it feels very natural to be in bed with him sleeping.

Master has four new canes to use on me, only had a couple of strokes with them so far as a test, have to say they're very stingy and hmm I suspect I'm going to have a few red stripes across my bottom very soon.

One of my Christmas gifts was a pair of silver nipple shields, sadly my nipples are far too large to fit them, when Master has my nipples pierced I'll need some custom made ones I think so they fit nicely, I can tell they'll look fabulous though.

My new collar arrives tomorrow, a stainless steel slave collar for Master to lock around my neck, I'll post a photo of it soon.

"The most powerful sexual organ in the body is our brain, open your mind and allow your fantasies free reign, mutual pleasure between consenting adults is a wonderful thing."

Thursday, 20 December 2007

Christmas Cummeth

Well apparently my Christmas gift is lost in space somewhere between Chicago O'Hare airport, Santas sleigh is one parcel lighter this year, at least for now.

The gift is my collar, specially ordered from a company in America, I chose it myself and it's something I see as very symbolic but just that, a symbol of my enslavement to Master, I don't need it to tell me that I belong to Him

Master is upset that He won't have it to place around my neck on Christmas morning, but for me that day or another soon after makes no difference.

For me it's never been the gift, but the sentiment behind it, I've never given to receive either, and I don't think it's quite dawned on Him yet that I have my gift this year, Him.

"The most powerful sexual organ in the body is our brain, open your mind and allow your fantasies free reign, mutual pleasure between consenting adults is a wonderful thing."

Wednesday, 19 December 2007

A Fine Balance

I've so much going on in my head at the moment, so much to think about and so many changes to come.
I'm a strong person in many ways, but in others much less so and I think it's beginning to tell.
Perhaps it's just that my relationship with my Master has moved so quickly, been incredibly intense, not something I've experienced before. Well let's face it, I am very wary of commitment, always have been, but this time I didn't run away, I ran towards what was offered.

There's so much about us that works, some things that don't, but if we compromise maybe they will, honesty and openness is the way forward.
For me experience has proved that it's not the major things that will cause problems in a relationship, but the small niggly habits that will grate on the nerves and cause disharmony.

Now here's a thought for you, if involved in a 24/7 Master/slave relationship just how often is the slave allowed to point out to the Master that it really is much better to put the cap on the toothpaste, close the toilet lid etc etc.
Technically speaking a slave has no rights, Masters word is law and he is free to do as He chooses. Our relationships is not like that and will be a mix of Vanilla too, somewhere amidst all this we need to find a balance that works for us.
Master (I'm glad to say), sees me not only as his slave, but also as his partner, friend and lover, so the dynamics are a complex mix and definitely need fine tuning, it's going to take time I suspect.

"The most powerful sexual organ in the body is our brain, open your mind and allow your fantasies free reign, mutual pleasure between consenting adults is a wonderful thing."

Tuesday, 18 December 2007

Vanilla Days

An unplanned day together today, and we spent it doing mostly nilla sex and curled up in bed.
The sex as always was excellent, I love to have Him cum inside me, feel His cock swell and become harder than an iron rod ramming inside me, just before He lets out a loud groan of pleasure and let's go.
Five times today He fucked me, not bad for a man in His 40s lol.

This afternoon we did a little Christmas shopping, needs must as the season is here, so I wandered around the supermarket with Him in tow, not a particularly pleasant experience for us both. I hate shopping, we both like the same things on the whole, but have very different ideas about what to get and why. I'm impatient and just want to get what I need as fast as possible, and leave.

I'm not a fussy person, but there are some things I won't concede on, not sure how well received they were when I mentioned them.
But He has to know much as I love him I'm not blind to certain things, and the practical side of me knows without doubt that unless the vanilla side of life works then the M/s side will ultimately fail.

Not sure how someone with such a Dominant personality can accept being told how things are to be by their slave, we shall see. This aspect of any relationship only comes to light by spending time together outside of the bedroom, something I've been loathe to do as we mesh so well play wise.

"The most powerful sexual organ in the body is our brain, open your mind and allow your fantasies free reign, mutual pleasure between consenting adults is a wonderful thing."

Monday, 17 December 2007

A Mixed Bag

Today was definitely a mixed bag, I saw Master for the first time in a week, we had plans to take His Mother Christmas shopping, but first there was a little time for us.

Master bought a couple of new toys at the BBB yesterday and was keen to test them out, the first was a gorgeous, yet evil looking carbon fibre cane. The second item a paddle made from leather and stippled rubber, both items very stingy.

Today was the first time I'd been present and Master had showered alone, every time I've visited so early in the day I've washed and shaved him as He requested and I have to say enjoyed every minute. The shared intimacy and the sheer pleasure of serving Him in such a small way makes me happy and for various reasons often gives me the giggles.
I sat and watched, torn between wanting to carry out my regular duty, and him hurry and finish so we could play before had to go out. The selfish side of me that wanted to play won, and His shower took a quarter of the time it usually does when I'm there.

I didn't even take off my shoes or any of my clothes, first order of the day was to kneel on the bed to test out the new toys. I can quite catagorically say that they are fully functional, serve the purpose for which they were created, and sting like hell!

A short but successful testing session and a happy Master had the urge to fuck his eager and horny slave, I love to feel Him inside me. Master entered me and then instructed me to fit the nipple clamps so He could tug the chain as he chose.
The nipple clamps are one of my favourite toys, but my nipples are very sensitive lately, and He moved them from where I placed them to a different area, the pressure was quite intense and I just couldn't seem to convert it to pleasure as Master fucked me, but it was not bad enough for me to ask Him to remove them yet.

Master came and as I needed to orgasm too He allowed me to use the vibrator on my clit while He used the glass wand inside my pussy.
It feels fabulous for me when he fucks me with long slow strokes, too hard or too fast reduces the pleasure it provides, but done just right will make me cum quite hard.

When I did cum it was a little disappointing, the build up was there, but the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow was half empty when I got there. I don't know why.

I removed one of the nipple clamps, it hurt far more than normal, or more likely more than I remembered. When He went to remove the second clamp I couldn't help it, I told Him no and removed it quickly myself pushing his hand away.

I knew as soon as I'd done it, I'd broken several cardinal rules, the least of which was pushing my Masters hand away. To say He was angry is an understatement, it was explained to me in no uncertain way that I would be punished, and that He was disappointed with me for my disobedience.
We talked for a few minutes until His anger cooled and I accepted my punishment of 10 strokes of the new carbon fibre cane.

My mind closed down, He knew I was disappointed in myself, pushing Him away as I had done didn't just mean I was disobeying, it meant I didn't trust Him, and in this type of relationship without trust there can be nothing.

I lay there in His arms, Him talking to me softly, soothing me and telling me He loved me. All I could think about was how I'd failed. If I can't give Him so little amount of trust how can I think myself anywhere near good enough to submit completely to Him on a 24/7 basis as we plan to in the very near future.

The rest of the day passed with vanilla activity, Christmas shopping with His Mother and just general every day stuff, with the exception of us checking our ring sizes, that was more than a little exciting.

Perhaps this is just an attack of the collywobbles, I certainly hope so. I've always been my own harshest critic, and no punishment He can mete out can ever match that I give myself. My utter disappointment in myself.

"The most powerful sexual organ in the body is our brain, open your mind and allow your fantasies free reign, mutual pleasure between consenting adults is a wonderful thing."

Sunday, 16 December 2007

Give Them Wings

Well today Master attended the BBB and met up with an online friend, someone he thought if he'd not met me a relationship may have developed.

Was I concerned in any way? Far from it, I encouraged them to spend time together for a few reasons. Meeting her in person gave Him a real chance to see if there was a physical chemistry, it showed I trusted Him completely and also there's the old adage that if you love someone let them go, if they truly love you then they'll never leave you.

Now Master knows for certain that although she will be a good friend he has no interest in more with her, there's no spark that could perhaps be the beginning of more. But we can never have enough friends can we, especially in this lifestyle.

Ah yes He met with his ex slave too, with apparently a new Dom in tow, good luck to her.

"The most powerful sexual organ in the body is our brain, open your mind and allow your fantasies free reign, mutual pleasure between consenting adults is a wonderful thing."

Saturday, 15 December 2007

The Eyes Have It

Today I've begun to tell people we're getting married, wow lol. Although the thought of the actual day scares me to death, the fact I'll be with Him will make it all worthwhile.

Strange that I've always avoided any kind of commitment until now, not told him this but, somehow I'd always known that someone would walk into my life and it would be instant, not the kind of love that grows over time, and that's exactly how it is.

Most who know me would never guess at the real person behind the facade they all choose to see, yet He does and always has, since the day he first looked into my eyes and recognised the lost soul within.
Once I was lost, now I am found.

"The most powerful sexual organ in the body is our brain, open your mind and allow your fantasies free reign, mutual pleasure between consenting adults is a wonderful thing."

Friday, 14 December 2007

Rings 'n' Things

A strange day in all, still not well, but spent a lot of today discussing rings and marriage plans. There's a shock huh? I didn't write about the proposal a couple of weeks ago because I think it's taken a while to sink in.
Now we're down to dates and practicalities, talk about a whirlwind, the Man takes my breath away, but how I love Him.

There's a lot to sort out before this can become a reality, but never seen such determination to make something happen, He wants it and it shall be so.

Strange for me as I've had a couple of proposals before, but this is the only one that hasn't made me panic, the last guy I never saw again lol, somehow this time everything just feels right.

"The most powerful sexual organ in the body is our brain, open your mind and allow your fantasies free reign, mutual pleasure between consenting adults is a wonderful thing."

Thursday, 13 December 2007

Cough, Sniff

No diary entry for a couple of days as I've been feeling rather unwell, a cold grrr, always hits me hard too. My Master has been very understanding, allowing me time to myself, hopefully normal service will be resumed very soon.

"The most powerful sexual organ in the body is our brain, open your mind and allow your fantasies free reign, mutual pleasure between consenting adults is a wonderful thing."

Tuesday, 11 December 2007

The Pain/Pleasure Principle

Today I've rested and done domestic stuff, not feeling too wonderful with a cold starting (I hate being ill in any way), and it's a long time till Monday when I shall see my Master again.

It's strange, usually I feel crowded when I see a lot of someone and they are on the phone all the time when we're not together, I don't feel that this time, I just miss him.

There have been a few apprehensive thoughts in my head, although I've given myself to Him completely there are times it doesn't feel enough. If I have to ask to stop I'm disappointed in myself that I'm not able to endure until He calls a halt.
The logical part of me knows in time my pain threshold will improve, and also that my brain will accept the fact my bottom enjoys being spanked and the other things He does to me (betrayed by how wet my pussy gets), but it takes time, and patience is not one of my virtues as a general rule.

Thankfully my Master cares a great deal about me and as soon as he sees I've reached my limit calls a halt and holds me tight until I'm calm again.

Perhaps not everyone readng this will understand what a slave/submissive gets out of enduring and suffering pain for their Dominant, for me it's a mixture of things, but mainly it's surrendering total control to my Master.
Ah yes, and pain works for me in a way I don't pretend to understand, but it does, provided it's done in the right way and at the right time, for that Master holds the key.

"The most powerful sexual organ in the body is our brain, open your mind and allow your fantasies free reign, mutual pleasure between consenting adults is a wonderful thing."

Monday, 10 December 2007

The Short Long Weekend

Well that was a great weekend overall, 2 more nights held in the arms of my Master, to be woken with a stroke or a kiss is wonderful. We didn't play too much over the 3 days we spent together, but just spending time was good too.
What never ceases to amaze me is how when around me my Master has an almost constant erection, the fact he finds me so arousing is very flattering to say the least. We have a perfect blend of chocolate and vanilla in our relationship, and it seems to get better with every day.
Friday play was halted unexpectedly with a phone call, Master was disappointed, so was I, but I suspect I was more accepting of the situation, perhaps because I know that we'll make up for it and then some when the opportunity arises.

Strange how something so new can feel so comfortable and familiar, and that's exactly how I feel when sharing a bed with Him, we just seem to fit together like two halves of the same coin.

Saturday I had to work so was up early, He didn't even mind the ungodly hour my alarm went off as it meant sharing a little of my morning, sending me off with a kiss, and all I wanted to do was snuggle back down under the duvet with Him, but we rarely get exactly what we want in life do we.
The evening was for us, kissing and cuddling and me being put to bed early as I was so tired from little sleep the night before and a long day at work. It felt wonderful to know He cared about me so much that he would do that, because I'm sure he was at least a little disappointed we didn't play, that's something I will have to make up to him next time.

Thankfully my bottom had a few days to recover from the last caning session, so didn't hurt too much with the few strokes he gave me on Sunday afternoon, although still had me yelping and wriggling around, my body betrays me though and my pussy got soaking wet.
Master wasn't done there though, oh no, after that came an enema, kinky it may be but I do enjoy the sensations it gives, although I'll never look at diet pepsi in the same light ever again lmao.

With all the attention they've had recently my nipples are not only huge but highly sensitive, so when He clipped on my Japanese clover clamps it hurt like hell, but stubborn as I am at times I was not prepared to give in to the pain as I know from experience that the pain turns to pleasure in a few minutes and I even want to pull on the chain, this time however it didn't, the pain just went on and on.

Master inserted a drainage catheter into me and began to fuck me, the pain in my nipples was tremendous. I was having to concentrate hard and breathe through it, I didn't want him to remove them. For Master seeing me endure this for Him is a huge turn on, and although I don't like pain it does work for me on a physical level as my pussy gets dripping wet, no way I could hide that if I tried.
After cumming Master helped me to cum too, a very intense and satisfying orgasm too, love a few of those a day.

As with all our time together it has to come to an end, I hate leaving Him because I know how hard he finds it to see me drive away, it's small consolation for him to hear me say it won't always be this way, but in the meantime all I can do is my best to make Him happy, because that's what makes me happy.

"The most powerful sexual organ in the body is our brain, open your mind and allow your fantasies free reign, mutual pleasure between consenting adults is a wonderful thing."

Wednesday, 5 December 2007

Love Is In The Air

Tomorrow I see Him again, and I can hardly wait. I'm sure He knows the effect He has on me, how I want His hands on my body, His eyes looking into mine.
Sometimes when we kiss I don't close my eyes (a first for me), I want to look at His face, watch His expression and the emotions wash over it.
One thing I know is this man loves me, deeply and unconditionally; something that is very rare and precious, something to be treasured (and it's not just because He loves the way my lips wrap around His cock to give Him a blow job either).
It's simply really, we get on, there's no effort involved, we feel comfortable together, and He allows me no quarter; even going to the toilet happens in His presence. Before Him, just knowing someone outside the bathroom could hear me pee was the height of embarrassment, now I lay there legs spread and allow Him to insert a catheter into my urethra, stand and watch me pee (and the other too), when I'm on the toilet, and anything else He wants me to do for Him. I deny Him nothing and I feel amazingly free for doing so.

"The most powerful sexual organ in the body is our brain, open your mind and allow your fantasies free reign, mutual pleasure between consenting adults is a wonderful thing."

Tuesday, 4 December 2007

Precious Things

Master asked me today if I missed sleeping with my butt plug inside me each night, and yes I do if I've not been with Him for a couple of days.
The plug provided a source of comfort in an odd kind of way, but He is such an integral part of my life now and makes me so happy that I've found he gives me all I need.
There will be times I'll still sleep with it, sometimes because He instructs me to and others because I'm missing him and need to.

There are lots of things I enjoy about our time together, we've a similar sense of humour and often end up in a heap laughing at some silly thing, yet with just a look or gesture he puts me right back into that special space.

Having someone care for me and encourage me is such a change in my life, being made to feel beautiful and cherished is a precious thing and not something I would ever give up easily.

Looking forward to our next time together.

"The most powerful sexual organ in the body is our brain, open your mind and allow your fantasies free reign, mutual pleasure between consenting adults is a wonderful thing."

Monday, 3 December 2007

Sunday Sunday

Again on Sunday morning I was awakened by questing fingers, stroking and probing, demanding access to the most sensitive parts of my body.

His eyes bored into mine and his hot mouth covered mine in a good morning kiss, I felt incredibly relaxed, oh and horny. It seems the more of Him I get, the more I want. Not only do I feel owned by him, I feel like a precious possession, something to be cherished and nurtured.

He has told me more than once that I'm like a rare flower opening up slowly to him, and that's how I feel, like an orchid that basks in the warmth and light he radiates. I know myself pretty well, probably more than most people, but I am continuing to learn under his guidance.

There was only one fly in the ointment on Sunday, a small battery operated fly swatter that looks like a small tennis racquet and emits a small electric charge when a button is pressed, kills a fly and provides a tiny electric shock when placed on sensitive parts of the body.

He knows i don't like it, he'd used it on one of my nipples a few days before hand. It's not how painful it is that I didn't like (I've endured worse), but the type of pain, sharp and intense, even though it only lasts for a second. He continued to tease me with it, waving it around near my body, although not switched on, wanting me to relax and prove I trusted Him not to use it on my body as He'd promised He wouldn't.

Problem was by now this toy had built up to such an extent in my mind that the logical, rational side could not see it as it was any more, it utterly terrified me and I burst into tears.

Now He was mortified, He'd not read the signals correctly and let the game go too far, there was something we both learned from this, and that there are some things that you need time for, and that is getting to know each other. Learning to read the signals, communicate better, more clearly, especially with something like this, mind games can have as much of an effect as physical ones.

Leaving Him and going home on Sunday was not easy, I enjoyed being with Him, doing domestic vanilla stuff around the house, just spending time together was fabulous. If/when we do live together I want a house slave though lol, give me and my Master more time to play, allows an outlet for my Domme side and saves me cleaning the house.

It was strange sleeping alone last night, I kept expecting an arm to slip around and hold me close, fingers to stroke me and slide inside my pussy, and I know it was at least as bad for Him, because He told me so. Hopefully it won't be too long before we're able to spend a weekend together again.

"The most powerful sexual organ in the body is our brain, open your mind and allow your fantasies free reign, mutual pleasure between consenting adults is a wonderful thing."

Sunday, 2 December 2007

Glad Rags

Friday night I looked forward to a great deal, excited that I would not only be spending the whole night with Him, but he would also fasten around my neck a shiny and new leather collar. This is a temporary collar as He has decided to get me a stainless steel slave collar as the permanent one, He saw I loved the look of them, and thankfully so does He.
It's hard to explain how I felt the moment he fastened the buckle, a small pink tag declaring to the world at large I am now His property.
I felt incredibly excited and yet humble that He would honour me this way, we've known each other a month, such a short time I know and things have moved incredibly quickly, but so far it feels right.

Going out together on Friday was good fun, chatting up natasha a 6ft plus TV was highly amusing, she's a great sense of humour and even better legs. The fetish club was very quiet to say the least, but it was better in a way because it allowed me to relax and familiarise myself with my surroundings (I'm not too comfortable in a strange crowded venue).

We stood talking at the bar for a while, then took a seat, natasha following to watch what we did. Was I embarrassed or uncomfortable that she wanted to that? Hmmm not really, I knew He wouldn't expose too much of my body as he doesn't like to share what is His property, although later when he was encouraging me to show photos of my bruised and battered ass some might wonder.

As the club was so quiet we had the run of the place, 2 fully equipped play rooms and 3 bedrooms. Thankfully He chose to take me into the dungeon and cane me, I was owed a few strokes for small transgressions (well that's what happens when you give yourself to a sadistic Dom). I was sent to the bar to borrow a couple of toys, the masochist in me chose a long thick cane and a lovely leather flogger. I only remember the cane being used, He recognised I'd had enough as my bottom was still very bruised from Wednesday so it was back to join natasha. We spent the rest of the evening just talking to the people there and relaxing, a pleasant change to be in the company of like minded people I have to say.

Back home and to bed, both tired yet happy, and our first whole night together, being woken by Him was wonderful, to open my eyes and see Him beside me (ok so we were both bleary eyed from lack of sleep, but hey allow me a little artistic licence here please).
We made love (yes we do that too) and then cuddle and talked some more before deciding it was time to get up, it was at this time He asked me an important question, but as this blog is public (and his ex slave is reading this) now is not the time to publish this information and you'll have to wait.

The day passed by quickly, just doing stuff together, we're still learning about each other as you can imagine, and it's the little things that can take time but are just as important when building a relationship, particularly when it will be as intense as ours, there has to be give and take, but at the end of the day it's my bottom that will get punished if there's a dispute and I'm the one in the wrong.

Saturday evening we spent watching tv and doing things other couples do, just spending time, easy to forget you can't spend your whole life playing, reality checks will happen and when He is too tired to flog me we have to be able to hold a conversation or amuse ourselves in a non BDSM way. I've never doubted from the first conversation we had that would be a problem, we've so many interests in common.

As Friday had been such a late night we went to bed around midnight, both anxious to be naked and close to the other. So many subtle shifts in the dynamics of this relationship, one moment it's Master/slave the next we're both in a heap giggling over some silly thing, yet with barely a look or word he has me back in that space again, the one where all I want to do is please him.

"The most powerful sexual organ in the body is our brain, open your mind and allow your fantasies free reign, mutual pleasure between consenting adults is a wonderful thing."

Friday, 30 November 2007

A Match

Tonight we're going out to a fetish club, I can hardly wait because tonight My Master will fasten a collar around my neck, a temporary one I know as the permanent one I have to wait for until Christmas but it is our way of announcing that we are more than serious about each other.

We talked about the previous submissives/slaves He has taken, especially the last girl a "slave" in Birmingham. From his description I'm not sure how she can claim the title slave, I know I have only His version of events, however if only half what He says is correct then the girl has not only a lot to learn about herself, but about life too.

If a person offers themselves to another, submits to their will and places their trust in the other, then that is what they do. Any discussions about limits take place before anything happens, because once collared it's too late, your limits are your Dominants to manage.

There's no trick to it, just a question of finding someone who needs match as closely to yours as possible, and as there's so many into every fetish known to mankind (and a few to women too), if you wait long enough then a match will make themselves known.

So far it would seem I've met my ideal match, and every day we spend together just confirms and adds to that belief.

"The most powerful sexual organ in the body is our brain, open your mind and allow your fantasies free reign, mutual pleasure between consenting adults is a wonderful thing."

Meet The Parent Time

Yesterday I spent the whole day with Him, I had an instruction regarding how our time together would begin. Upon arrival we would kiss and say hello, I was then to go into the lounge, remove my knickers and my skirt and sit with legs spread open on the couch awaiting the insertion of a catheter.

This done we sat and kissed while He stroked and petted me, talking the whole time. It's strange, but as soon as he touches me I feel all my stresses fade away and I feel totally relaxed, his fingers touch my pussy lightly, checking for moisture and discovering I'm already soaking wet. I loved the feeling of him taking possession of my body the moment I arrived.

We went into the kitchen to make some breakfast (me still naked from the waist down), while putting things together He came to stand behind me, His hard cock pressing against my ass.

His hand pushed me forward so I'm bent over the worktop, my legs are spread and He slid his hard thick cock into my pussy, thrusting in and out slowly until with a low grunt and a gasp he jerked his way to orgasm inside me.

There was a certain sense of being taken, it was urgent and erotic and even though I didn't cum I derived a lot of satisfaction from providing Him with pleasure, especially licking and sucking every last drop from the head of his cock after he withdrew.

A few minutes later the bacon sandwiches were ready and we munched happily while drinking coffee and grinning at each other like idiots, kisses and cuddles are so important as part of the bonding process, as much as the intimate act of penetration. I just love everything about being with Him, I feel quite giddy at times.

Upstairs our usual morning ritual (or at least it's fast becoming so), we showered together and I shaved Him and soaped his body, He suspects I enjoy it, and I have to admit He's right, it's a small act of servitude, but it please Him and thus pleases me.

Dry once more and I lay on the bed, He knelt beside me to inspect the catheter inside me, there was a moment He joked about wishing He had a ring hidden under the bed, and a hypothetical question. Maybe it was a glimpse into the future, but it actually felt like a distinct possibility, maybe even more than that as I caught my breath and kick started my heart again.

As we'd planned to go visit His Mother so I could be introduced we had only a limited amount of time to play, but wow did we make the most of it. He fucked me and came inside me 3 times, not sure which orgasm was the most intense for me. When He took me anally there was some reflex resistance from me which swiftly faded away and He slid inside me, that moment where it's painful but I know where in a second that will disappear and it becomes totally pleasurable and for the first time in wow I don't know how many years I came from penetrative sex alone when he later fucked my pussy, I didn't even touch my clit, it just seemed to come from nowhere, and not sure who was the most surprised, Him or me.

We'd talked for a few days about Him testing my limits, discovering where my tolerance currently is for pain, it's not something I was looking forward to by any means, but it was also something I knew had to be done for us to progress. The first thing He showed me was a small tennis racquet like toy that when a button is pressed on the side emits a small electric shock. He's used this on one of my nipples once before and didn't I just yelp, it's not the pain exactly, but the sensation that I didn't like at all, and despite me wanting to allow him to choose what he wanted to do to me and my body I just couldn't let Him use it on me. Yes I was disappointed in myself, but even so I know He learned something about me from my reaction, and that seemed to be enough, at least for now.

Eventually we headed off to His Mothers, during the drive we went through my check list, discussing various points and asking each other questions, establishing where our play made take us next, what possibilities He has to change things around in the future. Not sure there were any big surprises on my part, but it was definitely an interesting exercise, especially if it's repeated in a few months time, wonder where my tastes and tolerances will be by then?

His Mother was like a small bird, a fragile and elderly lady waiting for us to put in an appearance at her home, but I'd been prepared already by Him and made aware that no matter how fragile she appeared her mind is sharp as a knife and she's quite sprightly for her age.
I was terrified of meeting her, He is very close to her, and although I knew it would not change his wanting to be with me or how he feels about me, it was still important that she likes me.

I'm naturally very shy at first, and clung to Him as much as possible, and Him knowing what I'm like allowed it, and made it as obvious as he could that he was right there for me at every step. Like any Mother though as long as I made her son happy I'd a fair idea I'd be at least tolerated, possibly even liked, as luck would have it though she told Him she thinks I'm "smashing". Thank you Mrs P.

The drive back home was slightly eventful, I'm not into humiliation and as I'm shy I find it very difficult to ask to find someone's bathroom, especially in this instance as I was meeting His Mother for the first time ever, so as soon as He discovered this (by me opening mouth before engaging brain obviously) He instructed me to pee by the side of the road in a place of His choice. Phew was I glad when he pointed out the truckers parked up in the lay-by had their curtains closed on the cab and couldn't see me, then all that remained was the drive back to His place and a prolonged and painful good bye.

"The most powerful sexual organ in the body is our brain, open your mind and allow your fantasies free reign, mutual pleasure between consenting adults is a wonderful thing."

Tuesday, 27 November 2007

A Whole New Chapter

Well it's time to start my diary again on a daily rather than extremely intermittant basis, I've met someone very special to me, it's not been very long at all, but He touches me deeply (in every way possible lmao).

I'm generally very cautious when it comes to getting emotionally involved with anyone, but He's earned my trust and respect already and He is here for the long haul (let's hope life doesn't find a way of throwing a spanner into the works).

He's asked me to write every day with a summary of my thoughts, feelings, wants, desires and wishes. Easy you might think, but as I'm not used to expressing my inner thoughts let alone sharing my needs it's going to take some work on my part, with His support of course.

Last night I was so tired, I just wanted to curl up in His arms and sleep, the comfort of knowing He was there, not asking anything of me other than the closeness of my body and me knowing He would be satisfied to just have me there.

Many people I talk to say D/s is not about sex, but for me it's an integral part of it, not everything by any means, but for me it's very bonding and often been the only way I've felt able to express myself, although this is slowly changing, mainly due to Him.

I find myself wanting to spend much more time with Him, not just to play, although after so long of intermittant sex and play I hope He won't be too unhappy that I feel a need to not just catch up but immerse myself, at least for a while.

The last couple of mornings we've spoken very early in the day while I drove to work, I love hearing Him waking up, stretching and yawning, not quite ready to face the day, but happy to share some time with me.

This afternoon I made a mistake, I said something partly in humour but mostly as a way of explaining how BDSM works for me mentally, it didn't go down too well with Him as he thought I was saying I didn't trust him, not the case at all.
I tried to explain my mental process, not entirely sure I succeeded, but I hope so. Trust is vital in any relationship, but in a D/s relationship even more so, if someone is going to restrain you thus preventing you from moving out of their reach you have to be very sure you know they'll not cross the line, that above all you are safe in their hands, sometimes your life quite literally may depend on that.
For me part of the excitement is although I know 100% that nothing will happen to harm me and that He will not take things too far, in the darker corners of my mind there's a little voice whispering that just maybe He will. That frisson of risk gets the blood pumping, Him perhaps whispering in my ear that I'm going to be caned whilst restrained so unable to prevent it, yet knowing it's not going to happen because he's promised me he will only flog's a small mind game but the verbal imagery is wonderful.

Tomorrow we're spending another day together, play in the morning and meeting His Mother in the afternoon, to say I'll be shy and embarrassed is an understatement, I'm always the same meeting new people and it's important to me I make a good impression, would hate to disappoint Him.

"The most powerful sexual organ in the body is our brain, open your mind and allow your fantasies free reign, mutual pleasure between consenting adults is a wonderful thing."

Sunday, 21 October 2007

Room Service

Well today was rather strange, went to meet someone I've been talking to for a few weeks online and over the phone.
He's in my area for a few days and was keen for us to meet, his visit is for business, so was always going to be difficult to slot in some time together but we both thought it worth the effort. Last night was out as he was tied up with a welcome dinner, so I went to his hotel this morning, basically just to say hello.

I walked through the door and he lay in bed waiting for me, we kissed to say hello and he asked me to take off my skirt and top revealing my purple satin and black lace underwear.
I felt myself blush as he asked me to sit on the bed beside him to talk, his voice soothing as he spoke trying to relax me.
Knowing we didn't have long together he was keen I demonstrate how good I am with my mouth and removed his underwear revealing a lovely erection, the skin smooth and brown, begging to be sucked.

While he lay back with eyes closed a smile on his face I paid homage to his cock, licking and sucking delicately, wishing we had longer together. With a gentle sigh he came and I swallowed, not allowing a drop to escape.
Time whizzed by and I knew I had to leave, I had work and he had a meeting to attend, with a kiss and a promise of trying to meet tonight after I finish shift, we parted.

The lift ride down to the foyer was interesting, after a couple of stops I was left with myself and 3 men in the lift, I couldn't help myself, the thought passed through my mind.
What if the lift got stuck, me alone in a lift with 3 good looking men Hmmm!! I had to verbalise the thought.....
"Me and 3 men alone in a lift", I said, "I hope it doesn't get stuck."

The tallest of the men smiled and said in a lovely Irish accent, "It'll be your lucky day if it does."

All 4 of us grinned and I'm sure as many dirty thoughts ran through their minds as did mine. It was a bit of an anti climax when the lift glided to a halt and we all stepped out.

I've spent all day thinking about this morning, what did he think of me, will he really want to see me again, more to the point do I want to see him some more?
It's so hard to read people when you don't know them too well, I left the hotel very unsure of where we go from here.
We've a week of opportunity between our hectic schedules to see what happens anyway, so we shall see.

"The most powerful sexual organ in the body is our brain, open your mind and allow your fantasies free reign, mutual pleasure between consenting adults is a wonderful thing."

Tuesday, 18 September 2007

Afternoon Delight

Ok I had lunch yesterday with a potential Dom, very nice guy, married, looking for a playmate as his wife is vanilla.
We spent a pleasant couple of hours chatting and eating, he kissed me on the cheek, asked to see me again, and left for his business appointment.
I spent some time mulling over his request on my way home, didn't come to a decision either way. He's quite happy to meet for lunch or a drink next time too, or even as many times as I need to feel comfortable; if that's what I want.

Today I had lunch with someone in a similar situation, except he's happily married, just doesn't think it possible to get everything he needs from one person for ever, and I have to agree with him in many ways, finding a person who can be all things at all times for ever and ever is extremely unlikely.
He's not looking for a one off, has no intentions of it interfering with what he has, and I see no problem with that. What! You all cry, how can that be? Where are your morals? They're right here thank you very much. Look at it this way, if it wasn't me then there'd probably be someone else, and at least I know I'd never do anything to mess things up for him, and I like him.
Pub lunch was very nice and then he took me for a drive, some lovely scenery around there, and a good view out to sea. We parked up, chatted for a minute, and he asked me what I was thinking.........."I'm wondering if you're going to kiss me".
I looked up at him shyly, he undid his seat belt and leaned across, "I don't need asking twice" he said.
There's something about a kiss that tells you a lot about a person, it's also a good indication of what they're like as a lover. Nick is a good kisser.
Was only a couple of minutes before he asked me what was on my mind, I wanted him to take me to bed, so he started the car and whisked me off back to his place in less time than it takes to put on lipstick.

Back at his place I still felt completely at ease, not once all afternoon had I felt uncomfortable. Nick has this way of just easing the way, soothing all your nerves seemingly without effort. Truly an Alpha male, without arrogance, just comes naturally to him to take charge of situations.

In the bedroom we kissed, he undressed me then undressed himself. Usually I'm quite self conscious when naked in front of someone for the first time, but not now.
I sat on the bed and took him in my mouth, Nick isn't huge, but he's far from small. A lovely suckable, fuckable cock, he tasted good too.
Persuaded that it would be much more enjoyable for him to lay back on the bed with me between his legs Nick closed his eyes. I wrapped my mouth around him and savoured him, breathing deeply through my nose while licking and sucking the head and shaft of his cock, enjoying the expression change on his face as different sensations rippled through him.

A few minutes of being orally pleasured and he asked me to lay beside him, his fingers find my clit and slipping in and out of me, my pussy wet and juicy.
Slowly building speed Nick rubbed my clit bringing me to the edge of orgasm a few times, kissing me, sucking my nipple, but I just couldn't tip over the edge.
For me that first time letting go is always difficult, a mental block. So I slipped a hand down and took over rubbing my clit, I was determined to cum for him. Laying there looking up into his eyes, the intent expression on his face, fingers teasing my nipples, murmuring words of encouragement to me, it wasn't too long before I came. Not a massive orgasm, but big enough to give some wonderful aftershocks and make me yell out. I brought my fingers to my mouth and sucked, enjoying the way i tasted and kissed him.

Moving over me Nick lifted my legs and in one smooth stroke, thrust inside my sopping pussy, heaven. This was the first cock inside my pussy in over a year and I'd almost forgotten how good that feels.
Long slow thrusts, me rubbing his nipples and watching his face, again he stared intently into my eyes, like he could see right inside me.
I knew he was cumming, not by any noises or short fast strokes, his eyes crossed and this slow smile spread across his face........wonderful for me to see him pleased.

Real life kicked in pretty quickly, a need for us to dress and him take me back to my car, a kiss and Nick ensuring I could find my way home again (told you he's a nice guy), and we went our separate ways.
I had some lovely thoughts driving home. I see us being good friends, and playing occasionally, although I've a feeling next time may not be so vanilla.

"The most powerful sexual organ in the body is our brain, open your mind and allow your fantasies free reign, mutual pleasure between consenting adults is a wonderful thing."

Sunday, 16 September 2007

A Cock And Ball Story

Well my search for a Dom goes on, so far I've met Steve who said I wasn't submissive enough for him, not that he wasn't Dominant enough for me, strange that huh? He's changed his mind this week, decided he wants me after all, but only at his beck and call, not 24/7.

After Steve came Dave, lovely guy, so much energy, and a brain the size of a planet, he's a man on a mission and I seem to be it at the moment. Shame though it is he's not for me, a fabulous friend, but just not that something extra. Great fun slapping his ass with a cribbage board though lmao, oh and leaving his cock and balls chained and padlocked overnight was rather special too.

Next came Chris, 3 hours or so over coffee at the motorway services, he made me laugh, made me sparkle, made me feel this could be someone special, then he dropped a bombshell, he doesn't do long passionate kisses, nor does he go down on women.
This should've been a deal breaker, but there's so much about this guy that I like, I had to give him a chance, see my previous post about my visit to a fetish market and party.
At the moment I want to keep seeing him, I like him a lot. He's offered me whatever sort of relationship with him I want, and he has a very positive affect on me, but could I live without being kissed like that long term? I'm really not sure, but he's good fun and can teach me a lot, and it's not all one sided either that's for sure.

Now along comes Paul, interesting, exciting, intelligent, let me give an analogy to compare him to Chris.
Chris is like a sports car, a little MG or Mustang if you're American. Good fun flat out, good acceleration, but feels safe, you're always in control.
Paul is like a Ferrari or Lamborghini, crotch tightening excitement, on the edge, makes my heart pound and stomach flip.
There are certain interests we share, something I've spent time researching after stumbling across it by accident a few years ago, for Paul it's something that he wants to do for real.........eventually.
For one thing Paul is heavily into CBT, when we met for coffee I took a length of chain with me and a padlock, slipped it like a noose around him and pulled hard while kissing. Ever seen a man go wild? If he could've taken me on that car park he would have, there and then.
Now Paul never thought he'd meet someone who could help him fulfill his fantasy, until he ran into me. Thing is we've met twice, first time for coffee, second time a spur of the moment drive across the width of the country to spend the night with him. Problem was I was so tired after driving almost 400 miles that day and attending a seminar I was too shattered to give of my best, and I snored worse than normal lmao. Poor guy spent most of the night in another bedroom.

My best friend Carl thinks all this is highly amusing, suggesting I should start He thinks they'll all be lining up to get a whip or cuff rating from me, wearing their badges with honour to munches, advertising their "Danes says" review on blogs and profiles. He could even see them wearing t-shirts saying "I've Been Done By Danes" or "Check Out My Danes Rating". Yes very amusing Carl.

There is so much interest in my profile on that it's getting to the stage I need a personal assistant to arrange my diary. I even managed to get myself double booked for lunch on Monday, had to take a decision which one to meet and which to postpone.
Any subbie out there fancy serving as my PA? I'll have all prospective Doms email my PA and let them weed out those I'd definitely have no interest in and arrange meetings in my busy diary for the possibles.
I've also decided I need to update my profile, I never thought I'd have the need to actually state this, but the only animals I have sex with are the two legged variety, and no cutting your German Shepherds front legs off doesn't qualify them I'm afraid. You know who you sickos are out there.
Ye Gods, never thought I'd ever feel normal, but compared to the request I got today I do.

Ok so another week ahead, lunch tomorrow with Alan and only a few days before the Lecturer arrives from London, his name is rather unusual so for now at least he'll remain anonymous on my diary.

Hmm is actually starting to look appealing, a public service to both Dominants and submissives alike.

"The most powerful sexual organ in the body is our brain, open your mind and allow your fantasies free reign, mutual pleasure between consenting adults is a wonderful thing."

Wednesday, 12 September 2007

I lost my Fetish Party Virginity

I've met a man, a truly Dominant male, someone secure in the knowledge of who and what he is, and for all he'd probably try and deny it he's actually quite a sensual man.

There were concerns I had, he doesn't kiss, well not long passionate ones anyway, and that's something that is important to me. The fact he doesn't go down on women is something I enjoy yes, but it's not the end of life as we know it. Showing care and affection for someone you're involved sexually with though, that's vital, and in truth wasn't sure he could do that. There are so many other things in his favour there's no way I'd not give him a chance to prove himself, so last Sunday we travelled to Bristol together to visit a fetish market and attend the after party, both firsts for me.

To say I was nervous was an understatement, I couldn't even eat before setting off to meet him, a first for me, but once he was next to me I relaxed a fair bit, his presence enough.

It's a long drive down the M5 to Bristol, not sure what he thought of my chatter and choice of music, but he was very good about me being the one to drive, not easy to give up even that control I know, but I'm a terrible passenger.

Finding the place wasn't too hard, The Mandrake Club, as Chris says always look for the smokers outside anywhere lol. We knew we'd got the right place, a guy in powder blue jodphurs, black riding boots and skin tight, bright pink polo neck shirt, assorted others in black, and a short motherly looking figure wearing a badge saying Mistress Anita. Yep this was it.

Walking into the humid, dim and low ceiling building my eyes were everywhere, I didn't want to miss a thing. I'm here to look and learn, and intend to make the most of it. Chris is an excellent escort and companion, making sure I wasn't overwhelmed by the sights I see, the selection of various fetishes represented by those their. For once I feel I fit in, although not outwardly so, denim skirt and black t-shirt aren't exactly fetish wear.

The market itself was relatively small, mostly floggers and clothing, although there was a stall selling beautifully crafted silver jewellery. I looked longingly at the nipple jewellery in particular, I'm so curious about having mine pierced, and looking at Chris' face there's no doubt he'd encourage me to do so.

After some time touching and lusting after some of the toys there, my nerves beginning to calm down, we decided to go find a room, and head back to the party later.

We walked into the room, the only thing on my mind a shower, I was hot, sticky and decidely uncomfortable after the club, seems he had other things on his mind sooner had the door closed behind him I was ordered to strip, and despite my protestations no shower allowed till he said so.

I see why he did it, took me by surprise, didn't give time for my nerves to come back, which if he'd waited they would have. Plus it really showed me my place, what better way to illustrate it.

First I was given a few light flicks with the single tail whip, I was late picking him up, I guess he doesn't like being kept waiting (memo to self; get your arse into gear wench and be there on time next time). Yes lesson learned, err till the next time I'm late.

Instructed to stand with my back towards him, Chris took a pair of floggers to me, light sensual strokes, enough to wake the skin and relax me. Something about this level of flogging that gives an almost hypnotic effect, but only on my back.

The trembling caused by a combination of nerves and excitement eased, I relaxed into the sensation of leather against skin, I'd missed this. Sadly it wasn't to continue, Chris wanted me awake, alive, responsive, time for the next stage.

Things become a blur for a while after this, I know I was on my knees, leaning on the bed, blindfold, then instructed to lay on the floor face up. Hot wax was poured over my nipples, an intense sensation I've not experienced before and would certainly explore more with him.

I was turned onto my stomach, my vibrator inserted into my pussy, a smooth, gold 7 inch one, and turned on. Chris spread my ass cheeks and slid inside me, fuck that was intense, he's not exactly on the small side that's for sure, and this was my first chance to gauge any indication of how big he was, I'd not seen him naked. Oh and contrary to what he thinks, I don't crotch watch either, at least not consciously.

Having him whisper in my ear all the things we could do together, what he could and would do to me, such a turn on. Whispering is so erotic, not talking dirty necessarily, that in itself does nothing for me, but explicit descriptions of fantasies and desires, that's a different story.

Is being fucked anally a submissive act? In some ways I guess, it is quite symbolic of his Domination over me, but I've always found it pleasurable too, so I don't see any losers here that's for sure.

I didn't cum, nor did he, or if he did nothing was said, we played a while, i was flogged and whipped, only lightly, my pain tolerance is very low at the moment, he barely marked the skin. I chose carefully the one I trusted to submit to, someone with patience and skill. There are those out there with no regard for the submissive, who carry on regardless of safe words being used, Chris is not nor ever could be one of those.

Time was getting on, we showered and dressed to go back to the party, if I wasn't in submissive mindset when there earlier, I was now, I felt marked, branded by him as his alone. I was sure everyone would know, not that it mattered or that I cared, it was an erotic thought actually.

Back to the party, Chris looked fabulous in leather kilt and long leather coat, the look only slightly spoiled because he'd forgotten his boots, so had to wear his trainers. I wore black skirt, black skirt and top, black 4 inch heels, nothing particularly fetish wear about it, but I think I looked reasonable.

There was just about every fetish represented there I think, all shapes, sizes and ages, I hope I didn't stare too much, but I was fascinated and wanted to take it all in. I stuck close to Chris, not that I need worry, but I needed the reassurance of him being close by, within touching distance most of the time.

The demonstrations going on in the back room caught his attention, and Chris led me through. A woman tied to an A frame, her Dom spanking and flogging her bottom slowly, methodically, bringing her up level by level. It was obvious they knew each other extremely well, he knew exactly when to raise the game to the next level. At the end I spoke with her briefly, expressing my admiration for the level of pain she'd taken without uttering a sound. She assured me she'd loved it, been high as a kite on endorphines. Will I ever achieve that state? I'm not sure, but if I allow Chris free reign and total submission I know he'll do his best to get me there, and enjoy doing so.

One thing caught our eye, a young man showing his friend how to use a flogger he'd bought, on a young girl they obviously knew a little but not that well. What disappointed me is that the man didn't use either the flogger or his own cane correctly or caringly on his subject, and was most definitely not a good example to his friend. The other Dominants in the room were watching, waiting to step in if things went too far, thankfully he stopped and left, the girl dressed and came to sit near us to put her boots back on.
Chris spoke to her briefly, telling her how brave she was allowing someone she wasn't familiar with loose on her, although under controlled circumstances. I thought that was a lovely thing to do, letting her know someone was aware of what she'd done, that someone was looking out for her if needed.

Everyone was wonderfully friendly, we had a good laugh, and definitely somewhere I'd go back to, if only it wasn't such a distance.

On the way back to the hotel we stopped off for a bite to eat, I felt so comfortable with him, walking hand in hand down the streets, barefoot towards the end, 4 inch heels aren't good for walking a distance in. There were no stolen kisses, no whispered words, did it matter? No. I felt wanted and special.

Once back in our room I stripped to underwear, was whipped and flogged again, this time harder. A large hairbrush used to paddle my ass, more than a few ouches that's for sure, but Chris stopping everytime he recognised I'd hit my present limit.

He wanted me to cum, to watch my orgasm, learn the way I show my arousal and the signs to watch for so he can take control of it. The first time with someone is always difficult for me, to relax and let go in front of them, allow that loss of self control. Nothing I did seemed to get me close, yet I was incredibly aroused, the more desperate I got the further away from release I felt.

Chris put the clover clamps back onto my nipples, they were tender from our earlier play. I begged him to take them off, he refused, coaxing me through the initial pain, focusing my mind on the pleasurable sensations from my clit until eventually I came. Not a huge screaming orgasm, but an orgasm none the less, I broke through that mental wall.

Without giving me time to come down I was told to turn over, my ass cheeks spread and his hard cock thrust inside me. I wasn't quite relaxed enough, it wasn't that I resisted, more that I had that inner struggle to not submit and give over control to him.

I asked for a few seconds to relax, to adjust to the penetration, this wasn't given, Chris spoke soothingly to me telling me to accept him inside me, thrusting rhythmically in and out of my ass. He'd asserted his Domination of me in a much more obvious way this time, it was my mind resisting more than anything, he knew that.

Before I knew it he'd withdrawn, I'd been so lost I didn't even realise he'd cum, I went to the bathroom to clean up, took a little time to myself. Chris probably thought me strange the amount of time I spent in there, but it's always been the one place I can think away from everyone.

There was a bit of panic, what had I allowed to happen to me, there was also a fair bit of I want more. If there was to be a next time, and I wasn't sure there would be, I knew my limits would be stretched.

We slept, well I did, his arm around me, I snored, whoopsie I forgot to mention that, sorry Chris, he watched tv until exhaustion won. There was no awkwardness next morning, I felt a sense of something shared, but he's such a closed book, gives nothing away, I still didn't know if I'd disappointed him or not.

The long drive home was fairly uneventful, me boring the pants off him with my choice of cd, but he's a gentleman and put up with my inane chatter and didn't complain once. Into Birmingham and pulled up outside the railway station, we got out to unload his luggage from the boot, I didn't know what to expect or what might be said, probably something along the lines of "it's been nice, see you around".

He put his arms around me and I looked shyly up at him, he held me a couple of minutes talking to me, couldn't tell you what was said though, then a kiss on the cheek and "talk later", he was gone.

"The most powerful sexual organ in the body is our brain, open your mind and allow your fantasies free reign, mutual pleasure between consenting adults is a wonderful thing."