Sunday, 30 December 2007

A Brief History Of Time

It's almost the end of the year, I'm not home tomorrow much and probably won't have time for a diary entry so I thought I'd reflect on the year tonight.

In January I was involved in a Vanilla relationship with a lovely guy that although we made fabulous friends, as lovers it was too intense on some levels and yet no way it could work on others, basically doomed (as later proved to be) to failure.

February and on into March the same, with several hiccups and me missing what I'd experienced with Cyan last year, I knew I needed Chocolate with my Vanilla. There were even a couple of times when I thought things may start up again with Cyan, but it didn't happen, mostly because I recognised how selfish he is, no give and all take. But who else would be able to coax me into submission the way he could? I couldn't envisage anyone really, not that suited all my needs.

When Ged broke up with me in March I immersed myself in the lifestyle more and more, taking on a girl as a submissive in March.
Now I've never been sexually attracted to females, my only experience with a woman was with Cyan last year, and to say nothing much happened between me and her is an understatement really, so I can't say why I took pet on, but she appealed to me on several levels.

March and April I played with my new found pet as often as possible, setting her rules for her life to help improve her self esteem and her quality of life in general. Every rule I set her had a reason and most definitely not for me to get a kick from, that's not how it works for me when it comes to rules, there has to be a logical reason and a need for it to be set in the first place.

Still in April and I released pet, she'd done something so serious I couldn't even punish her for it as absolution, she broke my trust and without that there can be nothing.
I was hurt beyond belief, my pet was so lovable and desperate to please I couldn't understand how or why she could do this.

In May I was persuaded by a Dom we both know to take her back, we went to see her together and talked things through, needless to say I agreed under certain conditions to give her another chance.
I was also introduced to one of the most important people in my life in May, a mutual friend brought us together as she thought we'd get on, and she was more right than even she could imagine.
I love Felix and we just clicked from our first phone conversation, he's like the mirror image of my Dominant half, and we've so many things in common it's uncanny. We have no secrets from each other, and are so at ease we can discuss even the most intimate details of our lives without being embarrassed.
Thank you wench for bringing this amazing person into my life, shame you won't pay my mobile bills though lmao.

Flaming June, play continued and I was all over the place as usual trying to fit everything in. Oh and somewhere around this time I went to visit a Dom, I'll be kind and say he was not experienced and I didn't suit his requirements.

July I went to see wench again, first visit was June and same as before we hit it off, she's the mirror of my submissive side, although she's been in denial about her need to submit for a long time and is only now beginning to accept it. I do understand as I find it a huge challenge myself, far easier for me to let the Dominant out, but then some part of me feels unfulfilled.

I'll finish this next time, too much for one entry.

"The most powerful sexual organ in the body is our brain, open your mind and allow your fantasies free reign, mutual pleasure between consenting adults is a wonderful thing."

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