Friday, 30 November 2007

A Match

Tonight we're going out to a fetish club, I can hardly wait because tonight My Master will fasten a collar around my neck, a temporary one I know as the permanent one I have to wait for until Christmas but it is our way of announcing that we are more than serious about each other.

We talked about the previous submissives/slaves He has taken, especially the last girl a "slave" in Birmingham. From his description I'm not sure how she can claim the title slave, I know I have only His version of events, however if only half what He says is correct then the girl has not only a lot to learn about herself, but about life too.

If a person offers themselves to another, submits to their will and places their trust in the other, then that is what they do. Any discussions about limits take place before anything happens, because once collared it's too late, your limits are your Dominants to manage.

There's no trick to it, just a question of finding someone who needs match as closely to yours as possible, and as there's so many into every fetish known to mankind (and a few to women too), if you wait long enough then a match will make themselves known.

So far it would seem I've met my ideal match, and every day we spend together just confirms and adds to that belief.

"The most powerful sexual organ in the body is our brain, open your mind and allow your fantasies free reign, mutual pleasure between consenting adults is a wonderful thing."

Meet The Parent Time

Yesterday I spent the whole day with Him, I had an instruction regarding how our time together would begin. Upon arrival we would kiss and say hello, I was then to go into the lounge, remove my knickers and my skirt and sit with legs spread open on the couch awaiting the insertion of a catheter.

This done we sat and kissed while He stroked and petted me, talking the whole time. It's strange, but as soon as he touches me I feel all my stresses fade away and I feel totally relaxed, his fingers touch my pussy lightly, checking for moisture and discovering I'm already soaking wet. I loved the feeling of him taking possession of my body the moment I arrived.

We went into the kitchen to make some breakfast (me still naked from the waist down), while putting things together He came to stand behind me, His hard cock pressing against my ass.

His hand pushed me forward so I'm bent over the worktop, my legs are spread and He slid his hard thick cock into my pussy, thrusting in and out slowly until with a low grunt and a gasp he jerked his way to orgasm inside me.

There was a certain sense of being taken, it was urgent and erotic and even though I didn't cum I derived a lot of satisfaction from providing Him with pleasure, especially licking and sucking every last drop from the head of his cock after he withdrew.

A few minutes later the bacon sandwiches were ready and we munched happily while drinking coffee and grinning at each other like idiots, kisses and cuddles are so important as part of the bonding process, as much as the intimate act of penetration. I just love everything about being with Him, I feel quite giddy at times.

Upstairs our usual morning ritual (or at least it's fast becoming so), we showered together and I shaved Him and soaped his body, He suspects I enjoy it, and I have to admit He's right, it's a small act of servitude, but it please Him and thus pleases me.

Dry once more and I lay on the bed, He knelt beside me to inspect the catheter inside me, there was a moment He joked about wishing He had a ring hidden under the bed, and a hypothetical question. Maybe it was a glimpse into the future, but it actually felt like a distinct possibility, maybe even more than that as I caught my breath and kick started my heart again.

As we'd planned to go visit His Mother so I could be introduced we had only a limited amount of time to play, but wow did we make the most of it. He fucked me and came inside me 3 times, not sure which orgasm was the most intense for me. When He took me anally there was some reflex resistance from me which swiftly faded away and He slid inside me, that moment where it's painful but I know where in a second that will disappear and it becomes totally pleasurable and for the first time in wow I don't know how many years I came from penetrative sex alone when he later fucked my pussy, I didn't even touch my clit, it just seemed to come from nowhere, and not sure who was the most surprised, Him or me.

We'd talked for a few days about Him testing my limits, discovering where my tolerance currently is for pain, it's not something I was looking forward to by any means, but it was also something I knew had to be done for us to progress. The first thing He showed me was a small tennis racquet like toy that when a button is pressed on the side emits a small electric shock. He's used this on one of my nipples once before and didn't I just yelp, it's not the pain exactly, but the sensation that I didn't like at all, and despite me wanting to allow him to choose what he wanted to do to me and my body I just couldn't let Him use it on me. Yes I was disappointed in myself, but even so I know He learned something about me from my reaction, and that seemed to be enough, at least for now.

Eventually we headed off to His Mothers, during the drive we went through my check list, discussing various points and asking each other questions, establishing where our play made take us next, what possibilities He has to change things around in the future. Not sure there were any big surprises on my part, but it was definitely an interesting exercise, especially if it's repeated in a few months time, wonder where my tastes and tolerances will be by then?

His Mother was like a small bird, a fragile and elderly lady waiting for us to put in an appearance at her home, but I'd been prepared already by Him and made aware that no matter how fragile she appeared her mind is sharp as a knife and she's quite sprightly for her age.
I was terrified of meeting her, He is very close to her, and although I knew it would not change his wanting to be with me or how he feels about me, it was still important that she likes me.

I'm naturally very shy at first, and clung to Him as much as possible, and Him knowing what I'm like allowed it, and made it as obvious as he could that he was right there for me at every step. Like any Mother though as long as I made her son happy I'd a fair idea I'd be at least tolerated, possibly even liked, as luck would have it though she told Him she thinks I'm "smashing". Thank you Mrs P.

The drive back home was slightly eventful, I'm not into humiliation and as I'm shy I find it very difficult to ask to find someone's bathroom, especially in this instance as I was meeting His Mother for the first time ever, so as soon as He discovered this (by me opening mouth before engaging brain obviously) He instructed me to pee by the side of the road in a place of His choice. Phew was I glad when he pointed out the truckers parked up in the lay-by had their curtains closed on the cab and couldn't see me, then all that remained was the drive back to His place and a prolonged and painful good bye.

"The most powerful sexual organ in the body is our brain, open your mind and allow your fantasies free reign, mutual pleasure between consenting adults is a wonderful thing."

Tuesday, 27 November 2007

A Whole New Chapter

Well it's time to start my diary again on a daily rather than extremely intermittant basis, I've met someone very special to me, it's not been very long at all, but He touches me deeply (in every way possible lmao).

I'm generally very cautious when it comes to getting emotionally involved with anyone, but He's earned my trust and respect already and He is here for the long haul (let's hope life doesn't find a way of throwing a spanner into the works).

He's asked me to write every day with a summary of my thoughts, feelings, wants, desires and wishes. Easy you might think, but as I'm not used to expressing my inner thoughts let alone sharing my needs it's going to take some work on my part, with His support of course.

Last night I was so tired, I just wanted to curl up in His arms and sleep, the comfort of knowing He was there, not asking anything of me other than the closeness of my body and me knowing He would be satisfied to just have me there.

Many people I talk to say D/s is not about sex, but for me it's an integral part of it, not everything by any means, but for me it's very bonding and often been the only way I've felt able to express myself, although this is slowly changing, mainly due to Him.

I find myself wanting to spend much more time with Him, not just to play, although after so long of intermittant sex and play I hope He won't be too unhappy that I feel a need to not just catch up but immerse myself, at least for a while.

The last couple of mornings we've spoken very early in the day while I drove to work, I love hearing Him waking up, stretching and yawning, not quite ready to face the day, but happy to share some time with me.

This afternoon I made a mistake, I said something partly in humour but mostly as a way of explaining how BDSM works for me mentally, it didn't go down too well with Him as he thought I was saying I didn't trust him, not the case at all.
I tried to explain my mental process, not entirely sure I succeeded, but I hope so. Trust is vital in any relationship, but in a D/s relationship even more so, if someone is going to restrain you thus preventing you from moving out of their reach you have to be very sure you know they'll not cross the line, that above all you are safe in their hands, sometimes your life quite literally may depend on that.
For me part of the excitement is although I know 100% that nothing will happen to harm me and that He will not take things too far, in the darker corners of my mind there's a little voice whispering that just maybe He will. That frisson of risk gets the blood pumping, Him perhaps whispering in my ear that I'm going to be caned whilst restrained so unable to prevent it, yet knowing it's not going to happen because he's promised me he will only flog's a small mind game but the verbal imagery is wonderful.

Tomorrow we're spending another day together, play in the morning and meeting His Mother in the afternoon, to say I'll be shy and embarrassed is an understatement, I'm always the same meeting new people and it's important to me I make a good impression, would hate to disappoint Him.

"The most powerful sexual organ in the body is our brain, open your mind and allow your fantasies free reign, mutual pleasure between consenting adults is a wonderful thing."