Sunday, 29 July 2012

Housework Has Never Been Such Fun

I'm no domestic Goddess and never professed to be, for me housework is an inconvenience but of course a necessity, therefore I do it under protest. 
Imagine my surprise when an old friend volunteered to come over and do some cleaning for me, on condition he could do it naked. Of course I jumped at the chance to see him and catch up, plus get some help with the  cleaning. 
I made him a coffee, we sat and talked, then I sent him to strip and we both set to work. I could've just put my feet up and supervised, but I decided I'd do some of it myself.
I took a few photos of my naked cleaner, just to prove it had happened and when we'd done it was time for his reward. I chained him to my bed, put a blindfold on and teased him with my gorgeous horsehair flogger, pinwheel, finger nails and nipple clamps.
My naked cleaner is more into the sensual sort of play, so nothing too harsh otherwise it snaps him out of that lovely head space.
I decided I wanted to use my magic wand on him, so I popped a latex glove over his cock, held it place and teased him unmercifully with the wand until eventually I allowed him to cum.
To add to my entertainment I spoke to St on the phone whilst teasing my naked cleaner, describing what I was doing and getting him to suggest what I should do next. It was a lot of fun sharing like that.
When I eventually let him cum and fill a finger of the glove, I pulled it off and emptied it into his mouth, making sure he swallowed every drop.
So good company, catching up with an old friend, getting my cleaning done and some lovely play too, what a great afternoon.
I might consider looking for a regular cleaner, but would need to be the right kind of person.

"The most powerful sexual organ in the body is our brain, open your mind and allow your fantasies free reign, mutual pleasure between consenting adults is a wonderful thing." 

Just Today

Totally irrationally, I feel like a dirty little secret. Normality should be resumed by morning.

"The most powerful sexual organ in the body is our brain, open your mind and allow your fantasies free reign, mutual pleasure between consenting adults is a wonderful thing." 

Tuesday, 17 July 2012

It Came From Outer Space

What a fabulous weekend with St. 
We stayed in a hotel in Birmingham so we could attend the fetish market and party on Sunday. 
Saturday night was just the two of us. As usual we couldn't keep our hands off each other when we got into the room. We kissed and fucked, he made me cum a good few times, filled me with his own cum and lapped it all up. 
It's so erotic to have a man go down on you and lick up all their cum. I've never had a lover who enjoyed it the way that St does. He loves how I taste, how he tastes and he especially loves how we taste mixed together.
After a quick bite to eat in a local pub it was back to the room again and time for some fun. I cuffed him, fitted a ball gag and a blindfold. I clipped the cuffs to the collar I put on him and had him lay on his front. I'd decided   that I wanted to do a little anal play before I slipped his butt plug in. St had expressed an interest in being caned whilst plugged, I thought I'd oblige.
A little lube, a latex glove and in no time at all my fingers were inside his arse. I love the sounds he makes when he's enjoying himself, I sat on the bed beside him smiling as he was moaning and shuddering with pleasure.
After I'd thoroughly fucked him with my fingers I slipped in the plug, took off the glove and picked up my cane.
I started caning him by twilting (a technique using rapid taps), then built up slowly to much harder strokes. St was in heaven bless him. There were a few times I thought he might have an orgasm, anal or otherwise.
When I decided he'd had enough of the cane, I removed the plug him over. 
I released the cuffs, but didn't take off the blindfold, time for the surprise I'd planned.
His cock was lovely and dribbly, perfect for what I needed. 
I opened the packet and sprinkled on a few of the crystals, then took his cock in my mouth and sucked gently. 
A few surprised little "OOohh's" on his part as the crystals went snap, crackle and pop. A space dust blow job.
Eventually I just kept sprinkling it on and making sure there was enough pre-cum and saliva to activate the space dust. It was a lot of fun and highly recommended.
Eventually it was time for sleep though, Sunday was going to be a busy day.

"The most powerful sexual organ in the body is our brain, open your mind and allow your fantasies free reign, mutual pleasure between consenting adults is a wonderful thing." 

Friday, 29 June 2012

Sensory Overload

I had a fabulous time last night and so did St.

We'd arranged to meet at a club that's halfway between us, a good place to meet midweek when we usually have work the next day.
What St didn't know is that I'd got something planned for him, if the right people were there and thankfully they were :-)

We relaxed on comfy bench seating and chatted to people we knew, then I re-positioned us both so he was sat between my legs with his back to me.
I kissed his head, ears and neck while stroking his chest and nipples. Using finger and thumb on both hands I gently squeezed both of his nipples, kissing him and whispering into his ear of all the lovely things I could do to him and that we can do together.

His moans and squirming body told me I was pressing all the right buttons, so I swapped my fingers for clover clamps on his nipples and added a pinwheel to roll over his chest, sides and arms.

My hand over his mouth and nose to control his breathing sent him even deeper. It was only a birthday cake being brought to the table next to us for a friend that brought him out of it and we paused in our playtime.

I ate a piece of cake and St sat grinning happily next to me, chatting to those sat around us MW and ib being two of them. A drink and more chat, then I decided we should go and play properly as our favourite bench was free.

St carried my toys through and then went to the loo. While he was away I laid out the toys I planned to use and a few I knew I wouldn’t be.

 On his return he got himself comfy. I slipped a blindfold over his head and started to warm him up with my gorgeous lambskin flogger. I flicked and stroked, teased and tickled before changing to a whippier toy that I have. Some gentle flicks, some harder whacks and I decided it was time to carry out my plan. I stepped away a little and gestured to my friend ib that I was ready for her and then resumed flogging St.

A few seconds later I was joined by my two co-conspirators ib and K I handed them both a pinwheel and asked them to roll it all over him. I swapped my whippy flogger for a couple of canes and began to tap his bottom lightly.

I couldn’t help but giggle as St groaned loudly as he felt both pinwheels running down his back at the same time and me twilting on his bottom with the cane.
In no time at all he was a quivering space cadet. I love it when he’s in that state. 

The ladies did a fantastic job with the pinwheels and stroking him with fingers. He loves that combination of sensations in play and it always has a fabulous effect on him. As he was having such a good time I increased the intensity with the cane, first time I’ve used it so hard on him. Damn it felt good, long time since I’ve been able to cane someone like that. He was a groaning, moaning, quivering wreck, total sensory overload.

When I decided he’d had enough I thanked the ladies for their help and stood stroking talking to him while he came down. I love this time too as he’s just so loveable, not that he isn’t all the time, just especially so when he’s a space cadet like this.

In the time we were alone I had a few attempts at trying to make him cum with breathplay and suggestion. It worked last time we were at this event and it was incredibly erotic knowing I'd made him orgasm and nobody knew but the two of us. Although a couple of people may have wondered why he kept adjusting his squidgy jock strap afterwards. He was too distracted I think this time, so in the end I gave up, but we were both incredibly horny and when he comes here on Saturday I think he'll be ripping my clothes off before he's even inside the door.

Most people had left by the time we went to sit down again, so smiley cuddle time, making the most of every minute before we went home. AV came to chat for a minutes, commented how lovely it is to see us so loved up and then it was time to go home.

Another fantastic evening with St. It's a smallish event, but that makes it a rather intimate evening. Everyone is friendly and there’s always lots of play. Now I just have to wait until Saturday to reap what I’ve sown last night ;-)

Just in case anyone wasn’t sure………I love my man J

"The most powerful sexual organ in the body is our brain, open your mind and allow your fantasies free reign, mutual pleasure between consenting adults is a wonderful thing." 

Sunday, 24 June 2012

Inspired by Chick Flicks

Funny isn’t it, how we view sex and romance, the ideal happy ever after story.
Today I’ve been watching chick flicks and shedding a few tears, which is of course what we’re supposed to do over soppy romantic films.

I’ve never been married, I’ve been engaged twice, although after accepting the first proposal I avoided naming the day because I knew it didn’t feel right and in the end, I made the right choice.

The second time, we had the date. We had a venue. We had two weddings in mind.
A Hand Fasting where Sophia wore the dress and decorated a beautiful barn and the way it looked was to be a surprise for me on the day.
There was to be a second wedding for my family at a register office and this time would be Mark at the official ceremony.

I never tired of looking at my partner, didn’t matter to me if it was Mark or Sophia I was with, inside the essence was the same person, it was just the exterior presented to the rest of the world that differed. Every day, every minute, was special, it mattered and we couldn’t bear to be apart for even a few hours. It was Mark who felt the need for us to marry, to commit that way.

Getting married didn’t really seem that important to me. I think over the years I’d gone through the various stages of expecting it would happen, it was likely to happen, it was still possible to, it was never going to happen for me.

It wasn’t the princess for a day experience I’d wanted, it was the commitment, the fact that for once in my life someone loved me enough to promise to always be there for me, because they wanted to be.

When I locked the collar around Mark’s neck within days of meeting, I knew I’d found my soulmate. Everything about us just meshed perfectly, although of course neither of us were perfect people.

Every day our love grew stronger, I couldn’t imagine ever wanting to be with anyone else. It wasn’t easy. I grieved for Mark as Sophia took over. I watched the man I met and fell in love with at first sight fade gradually away. It was like a slow death, the only comparison I can make really. We talked all the time, communication was key. I loved Mark, but I also loved the butterfly that was slowly emerging from its chrysalis, Sophia.

When Sophia died, there was nothing to replace her. No gradual fading away. She was ripped away from me in a brutal way that left me so devastated I didn’t know how I would ever be able to continue.

The first few weeks were filled with practicality. Arranging the funeral, finding a place to live, breathing. Friends brought me meals, flowers, shoulders to cry on. We consoled each other with stories of her exploits, the type of person she was and that Mark had been.

People kept telling me time heals. I said it then and I say it now two and a half years on, no it doesn’t. What we do is find a way to go on, to live. I still have a huge gaping wound that will never heal and never will.

It’s a bumpy ride, I’ve made choices that were right for me at the time, they didn’t work out, but I never expected them to. That doesn’t mean that I wasn’t hurt, because I was.

I’m not the same person I was 4 years ago. Meeting Mark changed me and changed my life, for the better.

I’m not the same person I was 3 years ago. That me was smashed to smithereens at 4.40pm on the 9th of November 2009.

Since then I’ve pieced myself back together, into some semblance of a human being. Emotionally I’m often rather fragile. Small things hurt me that in the past I’d be able to easily shrug off.
I’ve never given up, although I have felt like it at times. I’ve continued on the path laid out for me, making choices, learning, growing, never forgetting.

And now, now I have someone in my life who loves me wholeheartedly. Someone I can trust, love, treasure, caress, beat, kiss within an inch of his life. Someone who without being asked, stepped up to the mark when it mattered and told me how he felt at a turning point in both our lives.

Naturally he’s a shy person, he wasn’t looking for a relationship because of his current circumstances, but he recognised he was at a crossroads, beside me. We could easily have gone down separate paths that day, instead he took me by the hand and led us down a path together, to continue a journey that we’d started by accident almost. Some may call it fate.

He’s done the marriage thing and doesn’t feel any urge to do it again. So I know that’s not going to be on the cards for us. I did feel a pang of regret, but then my next thought was…………would I rather one special day where everyone gets to eat and drink at our expense while we make a public commitment to be together. Or do I look into his eyes every day and see the love he has for me, hear the words he tells me every single day, over and over in a way I doubt I’ll ever tire of.
I know which I’d rather have.

"The most powerful sexual organ in the body is our brain, open your mind and allow your fantasies free reign, mutual pleasure between consenting adults is a wonderful thing." 

Saturday, 23 June 2012

The Meaning of Friendship

I've spent a little time pondering lately about friends and what friendship means to me and to others.

For me I always try to be honest with friends, offer support and advice if needed and although there have been times I've been envious of what a friend may have I've never seen it as anything more than perhaps something I can aspire to or as a model for how I might conduct myself.

A hard lesson I've learned over the years is that when a friend uses their position to take something from you, money, possessions or to use your trust to manipulate you and others in your circle. 
Perhaps this is because they're dissatisfied with their current circumstances and see taking something for themselves from another as a fast track way to get what they want.

Funny isn't it how much more an act of betrayal this seems when done by someone professing friendship and wanting only the best for you.

The vast majority of people I allow close to me would never dream of doing anything so dishonest or underhand, but then that's why they're still close to me.

So to all my true friends, please be aware how much I appreciate you, because it's not something we say enough in my opinion.

"The most powerful sexual organ in the body is our brain, open your mind and allow your fantasies free reign, mutual pleasure between consenting adults is a wonderful thing."

Friday, 15 June 2012



Each breath you take
My hand dictates
Each gasp and sigh
You reach new highs
Each thrust and moan
New seeds are sown
Each blood red line
Of the canes design
Each bruise I make
My heart you take
Soft words I utter
For pain and pleasure
There is no measure
But you, my love
I’ll always treasure

"The most powerful sexual organ in the body is our brain, open your mind and allow your fantasies free reign, mutual pleasure between consenting adults is a wonderful thing." 

Free At Last

I feel free. It's taken this long to realise it, well it was Tuesday actually.
There I was with St at his local munch, we're sat talking and laughing with a bunch of people and he rested his head on my shoulder and I realised I'd not thought about S at all in a couple of days and just how fabulous it was to be with St. Love has grown where I'd least expected it when I was with S. 
St and I talked about it last night and he's realised he's over S too. S never considered how St might feel, it's not right to take a partner for granted in that way and S is a selfish fool for doing so.
I actually feel sorry for S, because he's constantly dissatisfied with life always thinking he needs something more and that means he'll never be happy.
Every time I see St it gets better and better. The connection has really grown between us and wow the play is amazing. I've introduced him to breath play and using a combination of sensation play, breath control and suggestion, I actually made him ejaculate without touching his cock. It's been a couple of weeks now and he's still finding it amazing that I was able to do that to him. I suspected it might be possible following a conversation we had, but wasn't sure.  
I'm incredibly blessed that St places such trust in me I'm able to take him to such deep places mentally. I shall take great care never to abuse that trust and always put US first because I can't imagine I need anything St can't give me in one way or another.

"The most powerful sexual organ in the body is our brain, open your mind and allow your fantasies free reign, mutual pleasure between consenting adults is a wonderful thing." 

Thursday, 17 May 2012

The River Of Life

I'm semi out to most people, partly by choice, partly because some things had to be discussed by necessity.
My mother was always reasonably open with me growing up about sex. I was reading copies of Men Only from about the age of 13. Some very interesting articles in there :-)
Any questions I had, she answered them, although usually I'd ask my favourite aunt. I do remember though many years ago my mother asking me a question when I was visiting with my vanilla ex one day.
"umm before you go I want to ask you something. I know you and David do it."
"What's that mother?"
"Err, how do you....umm give a blow job?"
After I picked myself up off the floor, I gave her some tips about how she could practice then a few days later asked her how she'd got on.
"It was alright....... But he's asked me not to do it again."
Lots of things flashed through my mind (horrible things), and I just had to ask why.
"Because it's not ladylike."
Face palm moment from me and all these years later, I still don't know if he was just being polite. I don't want to know either lol
So when I met Mark he told me he was totally out to everyone, had been since a teenager and dealt with any crap he'd had from family, but the vast majority of people were curious, supportive or found it humourous. He'd even attended a works Christmas party dressed totally in purple latex as a bet, he raised £300 for charity.
I found this approach to life quite refreshing in many ways, but still decided to pick and choose who I told and how much I said, then Mark began transition to become Sophia and was living in female role 99% of the time, so I had to have the talk with my mother.
The biggest and most important questions from my mother were about how this affected our sex life, did it mean I was a lesbian?
She didn't ask as directly as that, but that was what she meant. I answered her the same way I did everyone else..............there's far more to being intimate with someone than the old in and out.
I emphasised that it was the same person inside, the person I'd met and fell in love with, it was just the exterior that was changing as far as everyone else was concerned.
I got used to answering those questions over the next few months, at times it was amusing and at others exasperating at how narrow minded people are that they can't think outside those boxes of either heterosexual or lesbian sex.
It wasn't just vanilla folk either.
I was very proud of how my family accepted Sophia. I'm sure it was partly because I gave them the opportunity to get to know Mark first and delayed explaining about Sophia for a few months.
My mother worried that other members of my family would not be so accepting, but she was wrong. All my uncles cared about was that I was happy...........and I was, very much so.
Sophia was a very special person, how could anyone not love her?
She came into my office one day to pick me up and was introduced to a guy I work with, a misogynistic homophobe. He shook hands with her, talked a little and found his perceptions changed about trans people at least.
After she died my sister in law asked me if Mark (they reverted to Mark after her death rather than Sophia), was into rubber and bondage. Apparently she'd been to see a Medium and he'd told her someone she knew who was recently passed over was into that.
I answered truthfully, he was involved in all that before we met. I didn't see the point in explaining it was a big part of our life together and I was still involved in that lifestyle. I didn't ask questions about their sex life, why should they know about mine?
So the point of this blog?
Choose carefully who you feel the need to out yourself to.
Choose carefully how much you decide to tell them.
Work out why you feel they need to know, is it to their benefit? If not then why do you need to tell them?
Remember once you do tell someone they may tell others, how would you feel about that?
Release the genie from the bottle and you can't put it back in again.
Some people may surprise you with how accepting and supportive they are of your lifestyle choices.
You have to accept that not everyone will be able to understand your lifestyle choices and may not be able to deal with it and their choice may be to remove themselves from your life.
Of course if you're amazingly happy you want to share the reasons for that with people you care about.
Likewise if you're going through a tough time you may need their support, but maybe you could still get that without being specific as to why.
Life is about balance, choices, sharing. It may be a cliche to say no man is an island, but it's still true none the less.
We need others around us, sometimes to help us paddle our canoe, sometimes to lay back and enjoy the ride. None of us knows what's around the next bend.
How we travel the river of life is our choice, just don't forget to appreciate the surroundings as we float on by.

"The most powerful sexual organ in the body is our brain, open your mind and allow your fantasies free reign, mutual pleasure between consenting adults is a wonderful thing."

Wednesday, 9 May 2012

John The Sadist

John The Sadist

In my continuing effort to document more of my experiences I thought I’d share this particular adventure.

Back in the mists of time during my first D/s relationship, I spent an afternoon with my Master in a hotel room. For several hours I was flogged, nipple clamped, fucked and generally used for his pleasure.
At the end of it I was sore and happy, being kissed and hugged by him before we had to leave. I reminded Master that I was going to have dinner with a man I’d been friends with online for several years.
John was a pure sadist; I’d been fascinated for years with stories of his exploits and yet didn’t know why. He’d been trying to persuade me for ages to visit him and play; I’d always laugh and decline politely. I couldn’t understand why I’d want anyone to deliberately hurt me, yet I still wanted to hear more.
When I met Cyan everything started to make sense. I wasn’t a masochist, but the whole BDSM lifestyle definitely had elements I was extremely interested in and needed to explore. Then when I looked back over the years I saw there were times I’d done things that would definitely be considered D/s. I’ve written about a couple of them; see The Mushroom Man for example.
At this point Master informed me he was sending me with an instruction…………I was to beg John to fuck my arse.
I burst out laughing and said there no point me even asking him to do such a thing and Master asked me why not.
“Because he’s a sadist. He can’t get it up for sex,” was my reply.
Master gave me a look somewhere between disbelief and indulgence in my naivety, then told me I was to ask anyway. I nodded my compliance with a smile, but knew it was something that couldn’t happen.
An hour later I parked outside John’s house and walked up the path to the front door of his very average looking semi-detached. The small front garden was a little unkempt but the house looked generally well maintained and clean from the outside.
I rang the bell and the door was opened by John. He was 5’10”, balding, glasses and more than a little overweight. He wore a shirt and trousers with the top 2 buttons undone and the sleeves rolled up.
John gave me a hug and invited me inside and I followed him into the kitchen where he was busy cooking our meal.
I was handed a mug of black coffee and I lent against the door frame watching him work, chatting away and sipping the steaming brew.
After a while I decided it was time I told John what Master had said……
“Oh by the way. I’ve been sent with an instruction.” My eyes looked over the top of the mug as I took a nervous sip and waited for his response.
Turning towards me a little John raised an eyebrow questioningly. “Oh yes, and what’s that then?”
I felt ridiculous even saying it. I knew John couldn’t have normal sex and I didn’t want to embarrass him, but I didn’t want to disappoint my Master either. There was also a very small part of me that was nervous in case John could actually fuck me and he’d exaggerated his problem. You know how you get that imp on your shoulder whispering to you at times like this, making you think the worst.
John barely paused in his stirring of the food in the saucepan, just looked at me quizzically and asked me what I’d said in response to that.
I laughed, I couldn’t help myself.
“I told him, you can’t get it up for sex.” Then took a big swallow of coffee and looked into my mug to avoid looking at John.
John didn’t seem at all phased by this, just turned to me and asked if I’d like to play with him.
It was odd, after all the years of telling him there was no chance, I was now inordinately curious what it would be like. I think by this time I was starting to regain some of my confidence and was perhaps even a little cocky.
“Well………..I’m here, so why not.” I was so casual in my acceptance, but my stomach flipped and my heart pounded.
John nodded and finished cooking the meal after telling me we’d eat first.
Dinner was served in the lounge and we chatted over lots of different things while we ate and my nerves settled, but eventually it was time and John led me up the stairs to his bedroom.
“Right first of all I’m going to give you an enema and a bath, so take your clothes off and go into the bathroom.”
Now this was exciting, I loved anal play and the idea of a prolonged session with anything in my arse was a huge turn on.
I hurriedly stripped off my clothes and stepped across the landing into the generously sized bathroom. John was busy running a bath and filling up the hot water bottle style enema equipment with warm soapy water.
“I’ve never had an enema before,” I looked nervously at the amount of water going into the rubber container.
“Then I won’t make you hold it and you can stay close to the toilet so you won’t make a mess.” John had obviously initiated others in the joys of enemas.
Turning off the bath taps after checking the temperature with his hand he instructed me to kneel on the floor and then adjusted my position to suit himself.
The nozzle on the hose was lubricated a little and then pushed inside me.
I had mixed emotions, the sensation of something entering my arse was most enjoyable, but I was also fearful of the consequences and I knew I’d be mortally embarrassed if I disgraced myself.
Gradually the warm liquid emptied into me. John kept coaxing me to accept more and more until eventually he was satisfied I was full. I felt desperate to empty myself and was relieved when John told me I could sit on the toilet and expel the water.
Water and bodily waste gushed out of me and into the toilet accompanied by loud farts as I emptied myself. The process took several minutes and when I was empty John had me kneel again and refilled me.
This time as I emptied I sat on the toilet giggling at the absurdity of the situation, I can’t say I found it arousing at all. I might just as well been attending a session at a clinic for colonic irrigation there was about as much passion and probably less interaction from John.
When I was empty I climbed into the bath and washed myself as John had instructed. I didn’t linger as John was growing impatient in the other room and urging me to hurry.
I climbed out of the bath, quickly dried myself and took the towel with me into the bedroom.
“Lie across the bed on your back and spread your legs.” John was in business mode now and positioned myself on the bed widthways, legs open and knees bent for his inspection.
There was no preliminary, no talking and touching to relax me, the first thing I felt was cold metal being pushed into my pussy and I realised it was a speculum being inserted and opened.
When John was happy I was opened as much as possible he pushed something else inside me and I could feel and hear it pinging against the metal speculum.
“I want you to guess what this is. Guess correctly and I’ll stop.”
It was an incredibly strange sensation, not exactly painful, but it was odd to hear it pinging and not feel the object itself just the metal vibrating against me as the object moved against it.
I closed my eyes and tried to concentrate, but nothing came to me.
“Ok as you’re not getting it, let’s try it this way.” John removed the speculum and pushed the object back inside me again and span it around quickly. I gasped at the intensity and the horrible sensation inside me. I still couldn’t work out what it was, just knew I wanted it out of me.
“I’ve no idea” I squeaked. “What on earth is it?”
John removed the horrid thing from my pussy and waved it in the air in front of me. A spiky round hairbrush, no wonder the sodding thing hurt and this was just the beginning.
Putting the brush to one side John picked up a ball with a rope attached, it was a similar size to a tennis ball and made of rubber. Snapping on latex gloves he then began to stretch me with his fingers before trying to insert the ball.
Now as someone who wasn’t even a kit-kat girl (you don’t get four fingers in me), I didn’t rate his chances at all and squirmed and wriggled as he worked on me.
There was nothing at all pleasurable about any of it and eventually a very frustrated John gave up trying to insert the ball into my pussy and changed his focus to my arse.
Now I wasn’t sure if he’d succeed there or not, being an anal whore I’m more prepared to tolerate pain there in exchange for pleasure, but even there despite him working on me for some time he failed to insert the ball.
Disappointed he gave up and sent me to have another bath and cleanse myself of my bodily juices and whatever lube he’d used, although not entirely sure there was any.
“I did warn you I was tight,” I reminded him. I’m not sure that helped the situation, or his patience with me.
After another quick wash in the bath and drying myself off I returned to the bedroom to find John waving a cane around nonchalantly.  I’d never been caned before either. I was curious to know what it felt like, but wasn’t sure I wanted to experience the pain that came with that.
“Bend over the bed and show me your arse,” he instructed.
Obediently I stood at the side of the bed and bent over with legs spread and head touching the bed.
“But John, what about the warm up? A flogging or something?” I was really nervous now. John’s response to that question has remained with me ever since and still makes me laugh.
“Flogging?” he replied with a disgusted sneer. “Far too much effort for too little gain.”
Despite myself I couldn’t help but laugh and then regretted it as I was given 6 of the best with the cane and the stinging, burning sensations it created had me gasping.
Putting the cane away John again instructed me to lay widthways across the bed. Then onto my already excruciatingly sore nipples he clipped on the clover clamps and began yanking the chain whilst shoving his cock into my mouth.
I couldn’t concentrate on sucking him because my nipples were just screaming at me. Master had already given them a lot of attention with the clamps and his teeth that afternoon and I begged for mercy, reminding John I’d already played once that day.
Once more despite my predicament I laughed to myself at his response to my pleading.  
“That’s not my problem,” he said disinterestedly. “You came to me as fresh meat.”
After several minutes of nipple abuse and sucking his flaccid cock, he moved away from me and walked around the other side of the bed where I’d left my small bag of toys.
“I suppose we ought to give you an orgasm,” he said. The tone of voice he used to say this told me it was something he really didn’t consider something he enjoyed at all and in fact totally boring.
“John” I exclaimed. “You make it sound like such a chore.”
“Oh it is, believe me….it is.” Then he threw my vibrator at me and told me to get myself off with it.
He stuck his still flaccid cock back into my mouth for me to suck while I rubbed the vibrator against my clit. Eventually I had something of an orgasm, but it wasn’t the best I’ve had by a long way. His lack of interest in my enjoyment, the burning agony of my nipples and the just needing to get it done with were not exactly inspiring.
I jerked and grunted as my clit and pussy spasmed before putting the vibrator down. John chose this moment to remove the clamps and I squealed in agony as he massaged them back to life.
He allowed me a few moments to get myself together, then lay on the bed beside me propped up with pillows and began to masturbate.
As he stroked his cock, which still didn’t get very hard, he described one of his previous scenes with another girl.
Someone he’d played with regularly and by all accounts, a masochist of the first order.
She agreed to forgo any safe word and John restrained her in a kneeling position with access to her anus.
He took 28 very small safety pins and a length of twine. Pinching together the skin around the taint on one side of her anus he very slowly pushed the safety pin through and fastened it into place. He tied the twine to the pin and wrapped it around her front and to the other side of her anus where he inserted another safety pin into the skin he pinched together on the taint.
Pulling the twine tight this created a ridge of skin on both sides of her anus in the taint. Now his fun could really begin.
Very, very slowly, over a number of hours, he inserted all 28 of those pins. At one point he gleefully told me, he stopped to slacken the twine off a little because the tautness meant the pins were pushing through too easily and he couldn’t have that.
Once all the pins were in place the girl was left for 2 hours and then he returned to remove the safety pins and this is where he discovered a bonus……….it was as much fun removing them as inserting them because they’d all sealed in.
It took a number of hours for him to remove them all and during this time the girl was in absolute agony.
At the conclusion of the story John shot his load all over his stomach as he vigorously stroked his cock. Then he lay there looking smugly pleased with himself.
I didn’t hang around too long after we’d finished as I’d a long drive home to Liverpool, but it was with a sore arse, sore nipples and bemused smile that I climbed into my car.
John gave me several firsts that day and an overall experience that’s stayed with me ever since. Someone so totally opposite to me I couldn’t imagine play wise, but I learned a lot from it.

"The most powerful sexual organ in the body is our brain, open your mind and allow your fantasies free reign, mutual pleasure between consenting adults is a wonderful thing."

Tuesday, 8 May 2012


I've had a lovely weekend. I had to work both Saturday and Sunday, but St was able to come up on Saturday night and so I got to spend an extra night with him.
Every time I see him it just gets better. We spend most of our time together in vanilla mode, but more kink is definitely creeping in and I flogged and caned him today.
What we've found is we need to physically reconnect as soon after meeting up as we can. To kiss, hug and fuck when possible. Then we take our time to do whatever feels right.

"The most powerful sexual organ in the body is our brain, open your mind and allow your fantasies free reign, mutual pleasure between consenting adults is a wonderful thing." 

Monday, 30 April 2012

To You

To You

Blessed am I, for you are mine
Blessed are you, for giving such love
Blessed be me, there is an us

Love and Light, from me to mine
Love and Light, I see you shine
Love and Light, a toast to us

There is a Magic, in what we do
There is a Magic, in how I feel for you
There is a Magic, in the air for us

So Blessed are we
With Love and Light
And a Magick for us, tonight

"The most powerful sexual organ in the body is our brain, open your mind and allow your fantasies free reign, mutual pleasure between consenting adults is a wonderful thing." 

Saturday, 28 April 2012

It’s A Dirty Little Secret

Not for me its not, but to my family it is, at least to my mother and brother. I’ve talked openly for many years now about the fact I was sexually abused by my father as a child.
I didn’t do anything wrong, I didn’t ask for him to do the things he did to me, so why should I sweep it under the carpet and not talk about it in case people my mother knows find out?
The more openly these things are talked about surely the easier it will be for those subjected to abuse to seek help and bring resolution.
I don’t do so for sympathy or attention, or because I feel like a victim and full of woe is me.
One thing I’ve never considered myself to be is a victim, I’m a survivor and do talk about my life experiences because if by doing so I can help even one person it will be worth it.
Likewise, I don’t regret anything that’s happened in my life, the choices I’ve made good or bad, except……………I had an opportunity in 1987 to speak out about my father and I didn’t.
The result of my keeping quiet was three more years of abuse for my sister. I had asked her if he’d touched, she assured me he hadn’t, but I should have known. It’s easy to say that I couldn’t have, that by asking her I’d done my bit, but that’s not how it feels.
Eventually she and I talked and realised what he’d done to us both and some time later we went to the police together.
I’d like to say justice was done, but in these circumstances, is it ever? Nobody can give back what was taken.
I am luckier than many others, I know this, I understand this and I’m grateful that my experience was not as bad as lots of children endure.
If anything had been different in my life then I’d not be who I am now, nor would I have had the same experiences and there have been some amazing times in my life. I doubt I would ever have met Mark Sophia. I doubt I would’ve been able to support that wonderful person through the last part of their life.
For those who believe we exist for a reason………..that was mine.
Perhaps the universal balance of life means for every bit of happiness there’s a price.
They say you can pick your friends, but you can’t pick your family and it has to be said, I’d never have chosen the family I have, except my sister…………she’s fabulous.
So there’s my difficulty I suppose, to accept that to have experienced the wonderful, I had to experience the bad and in this case it wasn’t just me who had to experience the bad.
The first really major crossroads in my life that affected my path ever since was that choice in 1987 to accept what my sister told me and to save more upset, keep quiet. If I hadn’t then I do believe both our lives would be very different, not necessarily better or worse, just different.
For the people I love I’d give them the moon on a stick if it were possible, so it hurts like hell to know I can’t make it all better for her, and at the moment she’s really struggling to deal with the past.
And so, here we are, a past we can’t change, that affects our future and despite everything……….. I’d not trade the good to be rid of the bad.

"The most powerful sexual organ in the body is our brain, open your mind and allow your fantasies free reign, mutual pleasure between consenting adults is a wonderful thing." 

Sunday, 22 April 2012

Just Love 'n' Stuff

Another lovely weekend with St, lots of love, laughter and sex. It's lovely to just relax and feel so right with another person. It takes no effort at all to be with him and that's great as far as I'm concerned and I'm pretty sure it's the same for him too.

We've a great combination of vanilla with a little kink, gradually the kink is creeping in more, but the vanilla is the most important part of our relationship. As St points out, we just do what feels right.
Amazing to think two kinky people would have such a great vanilla relationship with each other.

"The most powerful sexual organ in the body is our brain, open your mind and allow your fantasies free reign, mutual pleasure between consenting adults is a wonderful thing." 

Wednesday, 11 April 2012

MUD Glorious MUD

Do you believe in love at first sight? I did, for other people. I never dreamed I could ever be so lucky. I often talk about the night I met Mark Sophia.

Even now, over 2 years since she passed away that first meeting feels as incredible to me now as it did then.

I’ve wanted to write about what happened for a long time, but as those know me will appreciate, it was a very emotional event and the time had to feel right to share it.

I opened the message, it was from someone I didn’t know and it was an invitation to a party.

A fetish party at MUD, a club in Manchester.

I’d never been to anything like that before. Ok I’d visited the BBB a couple of times and I’d been to SWAMP in Bristol once, including the after party there, but I was with a Dom and it didn’t really feel like a fetish party anyway. This was a completely different thing altogether.

I sent a reply politely declining and explaining I was very much a private player and parties didn’t really interest me.

A friendly and persuasive response arrived suggesting I contact someone else also on the invitation list, as he’d never been to anything like that before either.

For a couple of weeks I chatted to the new guy, a Dom from Preston.

I still had no intentions of going to the party at all until 2 nights before, when he told me the person who was driving had let him down and he now had no transport.

I thought about it for a few minutes. I’d be in Burnley that weekend staying with my sub Sammie. It wasn’t too far to Preston and then a drive straight down the motorway into Manchester. On impulse I offered to take him.

Saturday arrived and I picked him up along with 2 other people he’d promised a ride and the 5 of us headed off to MUD.

For the whole journey we talked about what it might be like. The other 2 people had been before it transpired, so had some idea what to expect. I felt quite excited and nervous, I knew I’d not be playing, but I’d be observing what everyone else was doing that’s for sure.

I parked at the side of the road, it was a rather run down and totally deserted area near the centre of Manchester.  MUD was in a railway arch, just a small sign on the wall to say it was there. I opened the door and stepped inside and as I walked down the small flight of rickety steps my eyes were agog at the array of sex toys and fetish wear that was all around the reception room.

There was a small glass counter filled with dildos and butt plugs, the man waiting behind it took our money and directed us through the door, pointing out the toilet in the room behind the counter as he did so.

Sammie was very nervous and shy; I clipped the chain dog lead I had with me onto her collar so she’d feel safe and secure knowing I was close by. Lee and the others followed behind.

I could already smell hot bodies and latex but when I opened that door and stepped through the heat and the aroma assailed my nostrils, almost overwhelming me.

Lots of people were dressed in black rubber catsuits. I wanted to touch them, to find out what it felt like as it looked so erotic. I couldn’t help myself, so asked a man standing by me if he minded me stroking him. He laughed and said ok.

I ran my nails and fingertips gently over the black latex stretched over his bottom. I couldn’t explain how it made me feel other than to say I wanted to do a lot more touching.

The host came over to say hello and explain how everything worked and said she hoped we’d enjoy ourselves.

There were probably 40 people there or so, some were playing already on the spanking benches and other equipment. My eye was caught by a man wearing a purple latex catsuit with a black latex skater skirt and a rubber corset. He looked like a purple gladiator.

Something about him drew me and as we moved around the room I kept looking for him so I knew exactly where he was.

Lee stood beside me drinking beer and looking extremely uncomfortable. He muttered to me that it was a bunch of freaks and he didn’t belong here. I told him I was loving it so we’d be staying.

As we watched the purple gladiator was strapped into a rubber straitjacket, a rubber bondage hood and then hauled up by his ankles so he hung upside down from the low vaulted ceiling.

A TV Domme stood with him stroking his latex clad thighs and flicking him gently with a riding crop. I assumed he was her sub, but I wanted so much to touch him too. I asked her permission to join in.

“Oh not a problem, it’s a free for all, anyone can touch him.” I was a little confused as I’d not let anyone touch my sub, but I wasn’t going to look a gift horse in the mouth.

I handed Sammie’s lead to Lee and asked him to look after her for a few minutes then stepped forward and began running my fingernails up and down the purple latex, revelling in the sensation of warm latex and the contact with this unknown person.

Would it be an overstatement to say sparks flew from my fingertips there was so much chemistry in the air? Possibly, but the feelings I experienced were incredible. Huge amounts of energy coursed through my body and it almost felt like some of my essence transferred from me to him and vice versa.

I’d never known anything like this and I resolved right then that no matter what, he was going to be mine.

For me that night I broke many of my own rules. I let someone else look after my sub Sammie. I played in public and most of all, I was prepared to go against everything I believed in to get to know the purple gladiator and have him for myself.

Before he was lowered on the hoist I stepped away to think about how I could achieve my aim.

I smiled as he removed the rubber bondage hood and stood grinning sweaty and happy at everyone standing around watching.

He explained to us that this was his first event in 6 months. He’d taken time out after an unfortunate incident in solo play where he’d almost died.

Speaking out I told him he was very silly and should be punished for it. A spanking was called for and then as he laughed I changed my mind and told him he should be promised a spanking and then denied it. That should be his punishment.

The small group of observers broke up and everyone went back to their own activities. I took charge of Sammie again and made sure she was feeling ok. Her eyes were huge as she stood looking around shyly, but she was obviously as fascinated as I was by everything we saw. I gave her a reassuring hug and looked around again for my purple gladiator.

Across the room from us was a large bondage wheel fixed to the wall. Four or five people were busy strapping the object of my lustfulness onto it and then slowly started to spin him around. This time instead of a bondage hood he wore a gas mask with a long breathing pipe on it. I’d never seen one of these wheels before, it looked interesting but I wasn’t sure what the purpose of it was.

I kept a watchful eye on him until a few minutes later he was left there alone. Handing Sammie’s lead back to Lee I made my way over to the wheel.

I stood there for a moment contemplating, then looking at his face I began to touch him again in the same way as before.  His eyes shot open and he looked me straight in the eye. I asked if it was ok to continue, he nodded.

My fingers stroked everywhere I could reach, I tweaked his nipples gently and scratched them through the latex with my nails. I put the palm of my hand over the end of the breathing pipe for a few seconds at a time and breathed into it gently.

I’d never done any breath play before, but it just seemed the right thing to do at the time.

His eyes kept closing in pleasure, but when we made eye contact again sparks flew between us. I couldn’t take my eyes off his face, watching and feeling the reactions I invoked by touching him made me feel incredibly happy.

The connection I felt was incredible, the chemistry was so powerful, it reinforced my earlier feeling of wanting to be with this man.

A little time passed and I noticed he was looking uncomfortable, so I asked if he needed to be released, he grimaced and nodded yes. I went off in search of his friends to take him down as there was no way I could safely manage it on my own, then I went back to Sammie again and pondered my next step.

I’d been chatting to various people for a while and watching others play and realised my purple gladiator was missing. I handed Sammie back to a now rather inebriated Lee and went off on a mission to find him.

There was a small area I’d not been into, a long narrow room at the back called the tunnel. I stepped up and peeked around the doorway, to my delight my purple gladiator was there and shackled to the white painted brick wall. His eyes were closed and he was away in his own little world.

I stood in front of him oblivious to everything around me, he was my complete focus and this was my real chance.

I ran my fingertips over him slowly and watched as a slow smile spread across his face. I didn’t know it then, but he recognised my touch and was happy I’d found him again.

As I touched him I began to whisper things that I could do to him in his ear, sensual erotic things, wild and wicked things, painful and pleasurable things. After a little while he was so far gone into sub space, anything I suggested felt real to him, so when I reminded him of my earlier threat, that he should be promised a spanking and denied it…..and that now was that time, he began to cry.

I turned and walked away, went back to my sub and the people I’d travelled to the party with. It was almost time to go home and the party was winding down, quite a few people had left or were gathering their things together in preparation to leave.

My eyes didn’t leave the doorway into the tunnel, it had been a gamble to walk away like that, but I was hoping he felt at least a part of what I had in our play together. I needn’t have worried.

A few minutes later he emerged from the tunnel and came over to me to ask for my phone number. He was smiling and laughing, talking about the enormous effect I’d had on him. He’d never asked a woman for her phone number before and couldn’t remember his to give me, but not to be deterred, he waited till he was in the car and then dialled my mobile from his so I’d have his number too.

And that is how I met my purple gladiator, fell in love at first sight and began the biggest, most intense adventure of my life. A 14 month period where I learned much about myself, about life and about how much love a person can give.

I posted this on my informed consent blog a few days later.

From Mud With Love

Posted by DanesWood on Wed 17 Sep 08, 9:23 PM to DanesWood's blog.
I met a very special person at a private party at Mud in Manchester on the 6th of September.
Some may think this is all a bit fast and it's another velcro collar, but those who really know me understand how serious I am about the lifestyle and giving my collar to a submissive, it took sammie 18 months to earn that right.

Strange then that after only a few short days I've taken amha181067 as mine, but I knew the moment I touched him as he hung upside down in suspension bondage at Mud that he should and would be mine.

I really thought he would be there with someone, I asked the person who was stood with him during the suspension for permission to touch him, assuming that he was her sub, it wasn't until the end of the night I learned he was a free man, but against all I believe in even had he not been he would still have become mine, I'd have made it happen.

When a connection like this is made it should never be disregarded nor taken lightly, where our journey will take us we don't know, what we do know is that we share it together.

Few people find their soulmate, but we truly believed that’s what we were. Neither of us had intended going to that party and in fact only went to take others who did want to go. It was as though fate played a hand in ensuring we got to meet despite ourselves.

The play in the tunnel was observed by his best friend rubbermorph and she sent Mark after me to ask for my number with the threat that if he didn’t she’d never speak to him again but our connection had been so special.

Neither of us was looking for a relationship. He’d just separated from his wife 6 weeks before and I was still sharing the house with my ex, although we hadn’t been together for a long time.

You’d think the timing couldn’t have been any worse for either of us, so when I went to visit him 2 days later to talk about what we’d both like the conversation was all about being regular playmates.

We kissed and sat wrapped around each other on the couch as we talked. Mark had his hand along the back of the couch for a while and found that he couldn’t move it until I gave him permission to do so.

Something we discovered very quickly was how fast I could put him into a form of sub space where anything I said was real. It was almost like hypnosis, but completely unintentional.

All the stuff we said about not wanting a relationship went out of the window in no time. I’d collared him within days and we hated being apart, within about three weeks I’d moved in.

I’ve written very little previously about the time we had together, but I do believe that my beloved has much to say even now and perhaps by me telling her story others may benefit.

It’s been far from easy to write about this first meeting and it’s taken me two and a half years to do so, but I hope my sharing the highs and lows of our time together it will do some good somewhere.

"The most powerful sexual organ in the body is our brain, open your mind and allow your fantasies free reign, mutual pleasure between consenting adults is a wonderful thing."