Sunday, 7 September 2008

Mud Glorious Mud

Ah last night I had an amazing time at a fetish club, a private party hosted by a rubber Domme, everyone chosen and invited by her.

I went with the intention of just watching and hopefully learning, didn't really think I'd do more than that. sammie was very shy as expected, but was paying attention to what was going on around her, especially the vacuum bed.
Poor pet desperately wanted to try it but was too shy with all those strangers around, but thanks to the lovely Evi we may well get to try it out in private soon.

For once I was brave enough to introduce myself around, admire a few rubber suits and even have a feel of a few bottoms, how delightful to spank and caress a rubber encased backside.
It's amazing how different I am in Domme mode in that respect, I felt confident, in touch with myself and everyone around me.
The submissive side is so shy, unsure and would have been completely overwhelmed in such surroundings, even a vanilla party would have been tough.
My two sides meet, but they never overlap, you have to know me really well to understand how that can be.

One guy all clad in rubber was put into a hood and straitjacket and hoisted upside down to hang from the ceiling.
I can't explain why but I had to touch him, and once I did a wave of sensations flowed through me. The feel of the rubber, his body inside it, weird as this sounds even to me I felt a connection, as though my energy flowed into him and back out into my fingertips, it was almost electric.
Every time I turned around the guy was restrained and at my mercy, I was so sure he had to be there with someone, yet nobody came to claim him, I couldn't believe it.

In the back room he was stood, eyes closed manacled to the wall, lost in his own little world, no idea what thoughts were going on in his head, but I was determined to be a part of it.
He knew it was me, I could tell by the expression on his face, it was a long time before he opened his eyes and looked into mine. There was something I couldn't quite read there, but I was sure he was loving every second, even the whispered suggestions of what I could do to him.

There's a place in the mind of every submissive, it's my goal as Domme to find it, put the sub there and explore it with them. If last night is anything to go by this man is so susceptible to the way I play we could share something very special, I do hope so.




"The most powerful sexual organ in the body is our brain, open your mind and allow your fantasies free reign, mutual pleasure between consenting adults is a wonderful thing."
DanesWood

Monday, 21 July 2008

Summer Holiday Part 2

Driving across country to see Mark, he of the blazing blue eyes I felt really happy, he's such a lovely man and a true submissive, his pleasure is that of his Domme and he's very eager to learn.

I questioned why I'd not just gone there in the first place, or taken him away somewhere for a couple of days, would've been far more enjoyable than what I'd tolerated the night before, but we can't change the past.

Mark has a bedsit in a supervised housing block, so cosy but not overly private, but he didn't care bless him, he was happy to see me even though it was short notice.

A hug and glass of ginger beer later we'd talked about my previous day and why I'd driven over to see him and the next few hours restored my equilibrium.

Isn't it amazing how much pleasure and pain can be inflicted purely by using fingers. His nipples are so sensitive I had his head turned to Swiss cheese in hardly any time at all. There was no sex, but I did after spending several hours playing with his nipples put on the nipple clamps yet again and while pulling the chain sucked his cock. The incentive for withstanding the pain being me pleasuring him with my mouth as long as he could stand the clamps, or until I decided he'd had enough.

He had a smile a mile wide when I removed the clamps and cuddled and stroked him while he came down to earth, the sensations I'd given him and his feeling of total submission had created that lovely headspace and although even he's not sure if he hit sub space we both agreed he must've been close.


I went to see him again a few days later, this time he'd been instructed I'd be stepping things up again and he should expect some anal play, something he's experienced a little of but still very much a novice.

More ginger beer, more cuddles and lots of kisses, he really is a very sensual and attractive man, and those eyes of his when he's aroused or in submissive state just blaze like blue fire, amazing.

Locking him into wrist and ankle cuffs I had him kneel on his bed I padlocked a spreader bar to his ankles, there was a bit of adjustment needed but with little effort on both parts I soon had his wrist cuffs tied with rope to the spreader bar in such a way only 1 tug was necessary for me to release him, yet he could strain as much as he wanted and not free himself.

My lovely leather paddle was used along with some spanking to warm him up nicely and redden his bottom before pushing 4 cubes of ice into his anus, each time I could see the struggle on his face not to code out and ask me to stop, but that moment was soon passed and allowed me to continue.
How sadistic of me though to rub ice over his buttocks before paddling them again, it had the effect of feeling as though we'd started afresh so nice and stingy mmmm. I gave him a few whacks right across both cheeks and his exposed and vulnerable anus too, the shock and sting making him flinch nicely each time.

He was probably in this position for 20-30 minutes before he began to cramp up, so I quickly released him and allowed him to walk around and stretch his legs, a huge cheesy grin on his face because of what he'd experienced.

I left happy and relaxed and looking forward to perhaps seeing him again in the not too distant future, but I am well aware that he sees another Domme and is ultimately looking for 24/7 with the right one, so who knows if that was our last time together, I certainly hope not.


"The most powerful sexual organ in the body is our brain, open your mind and allow your fantasies free reign, mutual pleasure between consenting adults is a wonderful thing."
DanesWood

Sunday, 13 July 2008

Summer Holiday

Well 2 and a bit weeks off work to get into mischief, did I succeed? Umm yes is the answer.

I met someone for lunch on Monday, he'd approached me as a Dominant person some weeks ago, we'd talked online and wasn't long before I discovered a few of his buttons.
Isn't it amazing how when you throw a few scenarios out into the open just to see what happens, how the tables can turn. His profile said he was a switch, but I have to say I couldn't see any Dom to his personality at all.

A pleasant lunch, fun having him squirming through our conversation thinking about being my tongue towel. He's a postman, and me describing how I answer my door to accept a parcel delivery sometimes wearing nothing but a huge white fluffy robe had him adjusting himself several times and has apparently featured in a few of his fantasies since then.


Tuesday was lunch with a guy visiting from Ireland for a couple of days, we met at a local bar and had a lovely afternoon discussing every subject under the sun just about. Took him for a drive, showed him some of the fabulous scenery and then back to his hotel.
I knew I'd get a kiss from him, now it wasn't unpleasant, but I certainly didn't feel any spark, so I politely declined his invitation to go up to his room.

2 men, 2 days and 2 damp squibs, but I can't complain as both were really nice guys and people I intend staying friends with.

On to Wednesday then and a trip to the south, a difference this time as the guy I was going to stay with is a Dom, very into spanking and other physical play.

Loved the drive down, once off the motorway the countryside was gorgeous, I'd forgotten how beautiful England can be. I arrived at his small but fairly new house and smiled as I thought of the 2 days ahead, good company, gorgeous scenery and hopeful lots of play. A shame it didn't live up to it's promise.

I walked in the door and almost turned and walked back out again, the place was beyond untidy, it was filthy.

I'd driven all this way and stubborn as I am wouldn't just walk out, besides it would've been very rude of me, so I decided to see how it went.

A hug hello and me being shy (yes I know, but it does happen), and then he took me upstairs. As instructed by him I didn't have any knickers on and literally he pushed me onto the bed and started working on my clit.
Over the next few hours I was spanked, flogged, paddled and fucked, oh and there was a glass butt plug put to good use. If only he'd been able to put me into the submissive frame of mind instead of me just laying there and tolerating it, a huge difference mentally and just not enjoyable.

Now I've submitted to sadists and the pain they've had me endure hasn't been pleasurable, yet I got a great deal of satisfaction from it, this wasn't the same at all.

It was obvious he has no clue how to use a flogger or paddle, all he did was hit with it. He didn't appear open to any constructive criticism at all and after observing how he handled the toys I had allowed him to try out on me I did something I'd punish a submissive for, I hid my nipple clamps so he couldn't use them.

Why did I do it? Well for one I gave him a demonstration how to put them on me and when he tried he messed it up, he'd not listened to my advice at all. Not wanting to risk having my nipples damaged I decided to put them away not let him use them on me.
Yes the submissive part of me feels bad for doing so, the Dominant part of my brain says I did the right thing. I was taught by my first Master, if you don't know how to use an implement have someone who does teach you. That advice has stuck with me, and if he wasn't prepared to accept the lesson offered he wasn't entitled to expect me to submit to them.

In the 24 hours I spent there I was repeatedly fucked in all 3 holes as he saw fit, he didn't cum, just used them, that's the closest I've felt to being a piece of meat and I didn't like it at all; it's totally alien to me, so I left and went to visit a submissive guy I've played with before

To be continued.





"The most powerful sexual organ in the body is our brain, open your mind and allow your fantasies free reign, mutual pleasure between consenting adults is a wonderful thing."
DanesWood

Wednesday, 30 January 2008

Doing It Myself

Phew well that got the blood racing, not often DIY does that for me.

A nice 1.5 inch diameter dildo in the ass, glass wand in pussy, and vibrator on clit...........took me a whole 4 minutes to cum. First time in ages I've had such an intense orgasm, interesting to say the least.





"The most powerful sexual organ in the body is our brain, open your mind and allow your fantasies free reign, mutual pleasure between consenting adults is a wonderful thing."
DanesWood

Flipping The Coin

It's hard to find balance isn't it, to do what's right, give life time to level out a little and see where things head.

I'm trying to not lead Him on to expect this to just be a temporary glitch and next week everything will be hunky dory again, when I really don't know if or when that might happen.

The dynamics of building a friendship and possibly new relationship aren't going to be easy, but what do I do?
Do I walk away and not try? I think that unfair to us both. I'm sure it won't be easy no matter what choices we make I know that.


On the other side of the coin my Domme side is calling, possibly because I need an outlet, and is completely seperate from my relationship with Him.
Partly it's because my girl needs to be brought back into line, I've neglected her of late and she's misbehaving as she lacks control and direction, but I'm considering taking a male slave/submissive too, if the right one comes along. Amazing how a little cbt soothes the mind.




"The most powerful sexual organ in the body is our brain, open your mind and allow your fantasies free reign, mutual pleasure between consenting adults is a wonderful thing."
DanesWood

Monday, 28 January 2008

To Give Is Heaven, To Receive Divine

Well Whoopeedoo, today I actually managed to cum by myself and a decent orgasm it was at that, it took some doing though, 45 minutes with glass dildo inserted in my ass, nipple clamps and a vibrator held directly on my clit.

There were several times I almost gave up, it was getting frustrating, so many thoughts and emotions going through my mind.

Generally I find pain a good way to focus my mind on the current situation, switch off from every day things and concentrate on pleasure.
Doing it myself does not fit the bill at all, I need to give as well as receive, and at the moment I can do neither.
Tomorrow I may be meeting a slave, a pretty boy from Nottingham who wants to be sissified and abused, we'll see how it goes.


"The most powerful sexual organ in the body is our brain, open your mind and allow your fantasies free reign, mutual pleasure between consenting adults is a wonderful thing."
DanesWood

Sunday, 27 January 2008

Duality Confusion

Well it's back to work tomorrow, to what resembles normality, looking forward to it, two weeks off work is a long time and I've been bored and ill, not a good combination.

I've spent a lot of time thinking this last few days too, and trying to work out what's for the best, not easy with a line of submissives begging to be mine and a slightly shorter line of Dominants interested in me belonging to them.

It's no wonder I'm confused lol, sometimes being two people is not only difficult, but nigh impossible.



"The most powerful sexual organ in the body is our brain, open your mind and allow your fantasies free reign, mutual pleasure between consenting adults is a wonderful thing."
DanesWood

Friday, 25 January 2008

A Little Time

We're taking a time out for now, it hurt me to ask for it, but not as much as it hurt Him.

I don't know what will happen, we love each other, but such intensity has it's problems and we need to resolve those and see where it takes us.



"The most powerful sexual organ in the body is our brain, open your mind and allow your fantasies free reign, mutual pleasure between consenting adults is a wonderful thing."
DanesWood

Thursday, 24 January 2008

Dear Reader

There will be no diary tonight as such, but there is a personal message for the reader of this................girl you need to get a life and stop living vicariously through mine.


"The most powerful sexual organ in the body is our brain, open your mind and allow your fantasies free reign, mutual pleasure between consenting adults is a wonderful thing."
DanesWood

Wednesday, 23 January 2008

Horny

All day I've been reading erotic stories again, just not a good idea when you're not getting any







"The most powerful sexual organ in the body is our brain, open your mind and allow your fantasies free reign, mutual pleasure between consenting adults is a wonderful thing."
DanesWood

Ponderables

All day I've been reading erotic stories again, just not a good idea when you're not getting any sex.

Although it does have it's advantages I guess, it tends to make me quite creative and I've a couple of good outlines in my head for stories.

A thought has been going around my head all evening, what's the ultimate crime a submissive can commit in her Doms eyes? And what would the punishment be?

Under such circumstances would the Dom see fit to punish the submissive physically? Would He remove the collar she wore in His name. Would He cast her aside as unworthy?

If the submissive was truly remorseful would a good Dom punish the submissive and then work on what lay behind the problem. Why the submissive would break a rule or not do something she knew was required?

Would a bad Dom not even recognise it and carry on regardless.

All things I've thought about, mostly to do with the story line I have in mind, but also in general following some of the conversations I've had recently with people involved in the lifestyle.

I'm not sure there's a definitive answer, there's only what's right and appropriate for those in each individual relationship, but it gives me something to ponder and bring up to provoke valuable discussion in the chat room.

Tomorrow I see Master, it's like waiting for Father Christmas lol, just one more sleep and He'll be here.




"The most powerful sexual organ in the body is our brain, open your mind and allow your fantasies free reign, mutual pleasure between consenting adults is a wonderful thing."
DanesWood

Tuesday, 22 January 2008

Countdown

I've spent the entire day reading erotica, approving and editing stories for the website, to say I'm horny is an understatement.
The temptation to masturbate has been strong all day, but I've resisted.

My pussy has been wet all day, clit swollen and in need of attention, but only a couple of days before I see Master I hope, providing I continue to improve and this damn cough fades.

Mmmm countdown to orgasm time lol


"The most powerful sexual organ in the body is our brain, open your mind and allow your fantasies free reign, mutual pleasure between consenting adults is a wonderful thing."
DanesWood

Lecture Time

I got so fired up tonight, a young Dom taking advantage of subs online, he doesn't mean any harm and has no comprehension of how much he can hurt someone.

The lecture I gave him must've lasted about an hour in total, can't remember the last time I let rip at someone like that.
He didn't just get both barrels, I reloaded and let him have a double helping.

At one stage he was threatening to self harm, but I stood my ground, if he didn't learn his lesson now then I doubt he ever would.

It's so easy to be rash, to do without thinking of the consequences, or to not even realise there will be any, long time since I learned that there invariably is.



"The most powerful sexual organ in the body is our brain, open your mind and allow your fantasies free reign, mutual pleasure between consenting adults is a wonderful thing."
DanesWood

Sunday, 20 January 2008

Creative Contributions



I'm very lucky with the people I meet and become friends with, I know this and appreciate them perhaps more than they realise.


No doubt there are some who feel the same about me, I like to think so anyway.




This last few days I've met 3 people who wish to make contributions to my website, 2 who are working on stories for me and 1 who has offered some illustrations.


I'm excited at the creative side and turned on reading the stories and looking at the drawings sent to me, a couple of which gave Master some ideas lol, I can't imagine why.




To date over 22,000 visitors to my website, even the illustrator was impressed by those numbers, I get a huge buzz from it.








"The most powerful sexual organ in the body is our brain, open your mind and allow your fantasies free reign, mutual pleasure between consenting adults is a wonderful thing."
DanesWood

Saturday, 19 January 2008

Morning Temptation

I must be getting better, I actually woke up feeling very horny this morning and was very tempted to masturbate.

The problem for me with masturbation is that it's so unfulfilling, I need to feel that I've given pleasure too in some way, and that most definitely any pleasure I get is given to me.

When Masters fingers are on my body it's a totally different sensation than touching myself, a thousand times better.



"The most powerful sexual organ in the body is our brain, open your mind and allow your fantasies free reign, mutual pleasure between consenting adults is a wonderful thing."
DanesWood

Friday, 18 January 2008

Needy, Greedy Subbies?

Fascinating couple of days, exploring my own inner thoughts and being swamped by submissives vying for my attention.
And it's strange, generally the more they talk to me the more they want to belong to me.

Is this because they sense I understand their need to submit?

Do they feel that as someone who submits so completely themselves can discover hidden depths within them they've yet to explore.

Whatever the answer I have to admit to feeling overwhelmed of late, it's good to have people like you, be interested in you, but there are times it's too much and too many and I need to withdraw to regain my own sense of self.



"The most powerful sexual organ in the body is our brain, open your mind and allow your fantasies free reign, mutual pleasure between consenting adults is a wonderful thing."
DanesWood

Thursday, 17 January 2008

Pride In Submission?

Ok this question has been going around in my head on and off for weeks and just begs to be asked out loud.

Who considers themselves to be the perfect sub/slave, doing everything their Dom/Master asks?

And if you do think you're everything that He/She wants doesn't that make you prideful and complacent?

Thinking you've achieved the goal, what reason to continue striving to grow?

Isn't pride in ones achievement self indulgent, and against the definition of sub/slave, when the whole focus of ones being is to please your Dominant and the only pride one should feel?

What of failure real or imagined, how is that handled by both parties.

What designates failure anyway?

Who decides if the sub/slave has passed or failed (for want of a better description) anyway?

Sometimes no matter how much I'm told I did well I still feel a sense of failure or inadequacy.
That I could have done more, better, with less resistance, more compliance.

Something I wrote a little while ago and seems to hold more truth with each day........

Here I lie, naked and wanton, a slut for your pleasure only.The need, the lust within, the soft smooth skin without, that aches for your touch, to hear your voice whispering in my ear. Nothing you ask too much, everything I do not enough.Tell me how I may fulfill your every desire, please you, bind you to me in such a way no other will do.


In this I hope I continue to grow and learn not only about my true inner self, not only as a submissive but also as a Dominant acting as a guide to others embarking upon this journey.

"The most powerful sexual organ in the body is our brain, open your mind and allow your fantasies free reign, mutual pleasure between consenting adults is a wonderful thing."
DanesWood

Wednesday, 16 January 2008

Oh Dear, Soapbox Time

Ok today I got my soapbox out, not something I often do as I feel you can be perceived as opinionated and intolerant, yet there are some things worth speaking out about.

Strange though, balancing what should be said against offending others, it's a very fine line no matter how you play it and despite my bravado stating I'll not be told what I can and cannot say online there was still a tiny worry that Master may disagree with that when I share with Him later what happened.

I suspect that's part of the appeal for Him, that I have a mind of my own and that I'm not afraid to use it. Some have even described me as untameable in the past, thing is they just didn't hold the key to gain access to my inner sanctum.



"The most powerful sexual organ in the body is our brain, open your mind and allow your fantasies free reign, mutual pleasure between consenting adults is a wonderful thing."
DanesWood

Tuesday, 15 January 2008

Thank Goodness I'm A Good Swallower

Ok cough and pains explained, I've a touch of pleuresy so on antibiotics big enough to dose a horse.
At least I'm pretty sure it'll all clear up in a few days, so that's something.
Thank heavens for the NHS.

In the chat room today a few people asked after Master, I'm pleased that they've accepted him so readily, not only that they seem to have made him welcome.

I wasn't sure how it would be as I've been there so much longer and most knew only about my Domme side.

Needless to say more than a few jaws hit the floor when I announced that not only am I a switch, but I have my own Dom. I think those few minutes will stay with me and make me smile for a very long time.

I do love to surprise people, just when they think they have me tagged I do the unexpected.


"The most powerful sexual organ in the body is our brain, open your mind and allow your fantasies free reign, mutual pleasure between consenting adults is a wonderful thing."
DanesWood

Monday, 14 January 2008

I Do Not Make A Good Patient

Still ill, just want to curl up and be held by Master, but not possible at the moment.
Amazing isn't it how we retreat to childhood comforts when unwell, I drank Lucozade and snuggled up on the couch under a blanket when I got home from work.
Came home early, took me 3 hours to get there thanks to some selfish so and so having an accident on the motorway.
I managed 2 hours of work and decided I couldn't continue, in fact if it hadn't been such a struggle getting there I'd probably have come home sooner, I just hate to give in.



"The most powerful sexual organ in the body is our brain, open your mind and allow your fantasies free reign, mutual pleasure between consenting adults is a wonderful thing."
DanesWood

Sunday, 13 January 2008

Cough Splutter

Thank goodness no deep throating today, because this cough is awful and there's a good chance I'd be biting something off that would get me the worst punishment immaginable lol.


"The most powerful sexual organ in the body is our brain, open your mind and allow your fantasies free reign, mutual pleasure between consenting adults is a wonderful thing."
DanesWood

Saturday, 12 January 2008

Sore Without The Fun

Well the cold seems to be on the run, but I feel like I've had a good kicking all over, nothing like after a good play session when I may be sore, but I also have a sense of satisfaction.
Slept most of the day, but will definitely sleep again tonight, wish I was curled up and being petted.




"The most powerful sexual organ in the body is our brain, open your mind and allow your fantasies free reign, mutual pleasure between consenting adults is a wonderful thing."
DanesWood

Friday, 11 January 2008

Murphys Law

Ironic isn't it, I've a whole weekend free I could spend with Master and yet here I am at home in bed alone.
Yet again I've fallen foul of some dreaded lurgy and I've a sore throat and headache, so spending my weekend trying to fight it off.

Not sure what Master had in mind, but I know there would've been lots of play and just curling up in bed together.
Sometimes just wrapping around each other is enough, the intimacy of naked flesh pressed against my body.
Knowing it can change at any moment to raw passionate sex, sensual love making, or with a word I'm His slave to do with as He pleases, (and doesn't he just) is not only exciting it's also very fulfilling. The dynamics of our relationship are complex and finely balanced, one thing it will never be is boring that's for sure.


"The most powerful sexual organ in the body is our brain, open your mind and allow your fantasies free reign, mutual pleasure between consenting adults is a wonderful thing."
DanesWood

Thursday, 10 January 2008

Hobble, Bubble, Toil And Trouble

Well at last I get to show off my new slave collar, it's very heavy as it's made of solid stainless steel, but I love the weight of it around my neck as it's a constant reminder of His ownership of me.
Look at the dinky little tag too, it's so cute lol.

I was totally naked under that full length pvc hobble dress, was still hot though.

I got so hot in fact that I overheated and ended up spending the rest of the evening topless at the New Years Eve party, and for a while I was instructed to wait on the other guests, that wasn't half as bad as it might've been either.

At first I felt really exposed, and yes there was some teasing, but no touching except by Master and after a while I actually didn't feel so self conscious either.

I'll never make an exhibitionist though that's for sure.







"The most powerful sexual organ in the body is our brain, open your mind and allow your fantasies free reign, mutual pleasure between consenting adults is a wonderful thing."
DanesWood

Wednesday, 9 January 2008

Hump Day Lust

This week I actually feel really horny all the time, I've not masturbated but I have been tempted, I think Master has awoken the beast within me.
It's many many years since I had a regular sex life, and the thought of being desired all the time is certainly an exciting thought.

After all the nipple play yesterday they're still incredibly sensitive, not painful but I am very aware of them and every movement sends shivers through me.

My brain is rather tired tonight, all work and no play for umm one day lol, bring on the weekend!



"The most powerful sexual organ in the body is our brain, open your mind and allow your fantasies free reign, mutual pleasure between consenting adults is a wonderful thing."
DanesWood

Tuesday, 8 January 2008

Confusion Reigns

I'm somewhat confused, today I almost entered sub space again, a pleasant relaxed sensation without totally losing it, very different to what happened the other day.

What confuses me is why Master would deliberately try to take me back to sub space when He knew that our time together was limited, it felt as though His greatest concern was to erase the bad memory than how long it would take for me to come out of it so I could drive home.

Did it work? Yes I guess to some extent, and there was definitely no problem with me being fit to drive, but it might not have been that way. Something we need to talk about when we next meet.

Today my nipples were played with for a long time again, pinched, rolled and clamped.
Intense pain and yet great pleasure, that's how He got me in the zone and wow both parts of my Japanese clover clamps on one nipple.

I love Him coaxing me to submit to it and work through the pain till I reach the pleasure on the other side, although sometimes it's not easy.

Part of it is pyschological, but a large chunk is the physical sensation, it must be why I prefer canes and floggers that sting when used on me, rather than the heavier thuddy ones.
I'm such a pain slut in that respect lol, I don't like pain that's for sure, but it definitely works for me, I get soaking wet and immensely turned on.
Not yet had an orgasm through pain alone, but I do wonder if it's possible for me.

On top of all this there's been a freak thunderstorm here tonight, what the heck is going on? It's January for heavens sake.


"The most powerful sexual organ in the body is our brain, open your mind and allow your fantasies free reign, mutual pleasure between consenting adults is a wonderful thing."
DanesWood

But soft! What light through yonder window breaks?

Eventually the light dawns...........

There are times I wonder what goes through peoples minds, I went to a very close friends house for dinner tonight so we could belatedly exchange Christmas presents.

We chatted a while catching up on each others news and then he told me about the latest shag he's got arranged for tomorrow night. I should point out that he's not only one of my closest friends he's also an ex, although that side of our relationship ended a very long time ago.

He has a long term girlfriend and yet meets women from the internet for casual sex, not just the odd one now and then he can't resist, but by his reckoning literally a couple of hundred.

This woman he's shagged before, and she's asked him to tie her to the bed tomorrow while he fucks her. I asked him a couple of questions about what he has planned and about her, then made some suggestions of my own ( I can be quite creative).

He laughed and looked at me, called me a dirty bitch and lay there on the couch mulling it over, wondering if she'd agree to being restrained in the position I'd suggested and just exactly how much access this would allow him to her body.

My idea is to have her kneel and tie each wrist to the corresponding ankle, so she has to lean forward thus exposing both her pussy and her anus for his pleasure and allowing him free choice which one to use.

Some time later in the evening and the conversation came around to my relationship with Master, and I explained a few aspects of the lifestyle and some of the things people do when playing.

I laughed like hell when he told me he could never do any of that, as though it was some alien concept, so I pointed out what we'd already discussed, that tomorrow night he will be tying some woman to the bed, and restraining her in other interesting positions while he ravishes her body (all with her consent of course).

Gradually light dawned and he saw my point, how it's sometimes a fine line between what's considered Vanilla and what is referred to as BDSM, in fact sometimes it's just a matter of perspective.



"The most powerful sexual organ in the body is our brain, open your mind and allow your fantasies free reign, mutual pleasure between consenting adults is a wonderful thing."
DanesWood

Sunday, 6 January 2008

Tempus Fugit And The Resumption Of Normality

Well normality has been resumed, or at least whatever passes for normal anyway.

My baby brother is 40 this week, wow I feel old lol. It's incredible that the years have flown by so quickly.
I remember the day he was born and seeing him shortly after, all wrapped up in his cot and a fire roaring in the grate as there were several feet of snow drifted across the road outside the house.


Compared to me his life appears to be almost idyllic, married with teenage son, reasonable job, own house etc, what used to be called a family man.
I wouldn't exactly say I was the black sheep of the family, but you could describe me as off white that's for sure.
If my Mother knew half of what goes on in my life I think her head would implode with shock, mind you I did once have to describe to her how to give a blow job as she'd never given one before.

Would I want to be "normal" like other people supposedly are? I'm really not sure, there are times I love to be me, and others when I wish I wasn't. It's all about finding a balance, a way of not tipping too much either way, yet making the most of whatever makes you happy, or at least it is for me.

Talking to a submissive guy on www.collarme.com tonight and he was amazed that I have a sense of humour, apparently most people he's encountered within the lifestyle have been rather stiff and serious.

I've told him it's not compulsory as so many appear to think to have your sense of humour removed when entering the lifestyle.
It's not like entering a monastry or convent, having your head shaved and wearing sack cloth as a sign of penance, this is about pleasure and fun, or at least a large part of it is for me.
Ok so sometimes things don't always go to plan, but that's how real life is, although there are times my life feels like a soap opera with me as the starring character.



"The most powerful sexual organ in the body is our brain, open your mind and allow your fantasies free reign, mutual pleasure between consenting adults is a wonderful thing."
DanesWood

Saturday, 5 January 2008

The Darker Side Of Sub Space

Master decided as I was staying over we should have a play session, other than a little play at new year we'd been mostly Vanilla for a couple of weeks.

The day before He'd caned me and thought then by my reactions that I was more than half way to sub space, (which would've been a first time for me) and He decided to see if He could take me the whole way.

I was handcuffed to the bed and Master took out a blindfold and my nipple clamps. Now here is the time I should say Master had spent several hours torturing my nipples and the sight of those clamps just seemed to send me into orbit.

Master asked me if I was ok, I replied yes...........thankfully He knew better and immediately released me and took me in his arms and that's when I really began to feel the effects of subbing out.

The only way I can describe it is as a bad trip, not that I've ever done drugs, but this was worse than being drunk.

Even when I've gone over my alcohol limit I've never felt like this before, slurring words and just feeling totally out of control.

He talked me through it, explaining why I felt the way I did and that it was because I'd not slipped gently into sub-space, but crashed on through hence this awful spaced out feeling I was rapidly beginning to hate........but even worse was to follow.

I've still not come to terms with the whole scenario, how as fast as I hit sub space I then began to experience sub drop, crying and emotional and feeling like a complete failure, which did not make Master happy at all, and the more He tried to reassure me the worse I felt.

I know Master feels He let me down, but it was all so quick and I know for a fact He didn't feel we'd done enough to get me to this stage, although He had planned on taking me there slowly thus ensuring a happy experience. This was not the way either of us envisaged it.

Not sure what will happen now, conversation I'm sure, but not sure I could go through that again. It took me all my time to stop myself dressing and leaving.
The logical side of me was whispering in the background that it was ok, just a side effect of the endorphins in my brain.
The emotional scared side of me just wanted to run away, thankfully the logical side won as I was in no fit state to drive, not that Master would have allowed me to leave anyway.




"The most powerful sexual organ in the body is our brain, open your mind and allow your fantasies free reign, mutual pleasure between consenting adults is a wonderful thing."
DanesWood

Friday, 4 January 2008

New Years BDSM Party

New Years eve Master and I went to a party together hosted by his ex partner.

Before the party began we took a few minutes to be alone so Master could fasten the steel slave collar around my neck, wow it's heavy but it feels good a constant reminder of His ownership of me. From now the collar may not be removed without His permission, although I do have a key to remove it in case of emergency.

I wore a full length pvc hobble dress with a zip running down the front so could be unzipped as much or little as Master chose from the top and bottom. Underneath I was totally naked except for a catheter inserted into my urethra so Master had control of my body and I was forced to ask permission to go to the toilet for the evening. I'm sure many would consider it humiliating, but not me, I love giving myself to Him this way.

The guests arrived a mixture of Dominants and submissives and when all the introductions had been made we sat around with drinks talking, shy as I felt at first everyone was very nice and I soon relaxed.

A little while on and I began to feel very hot, I suppose that's the problem with wearing pvc. I needed some air but even that didn't help and I began to feel unwell and faint.
Thankfully Master took charge and took me upstairs to strip and cool down, the catheter was quickly removed and Master watched me carefully for any ill effects.
Sat on the toilet with Master kneeling in front of me talking softly to me and taking care of me it wasn't long before I felt more normal, but Master insisted I put something else on and the pvc dress was put away.

Now everyone else was in fetish wear, I didn't want to be the only one in vanilla clothes, so I put on my black skirt again and the purple and black bra I'd brought with me, and nothing else. At least this way I didn't feel the odd one out, and Master loves to see me in this bra anyway.

The food laid on for the buffet was lovely, some provided by Mrs Smith, we ate and then the games began.

There was a game of Truth or Forfeit, and I drew a question asking me to tell them all about my most embarrassing BDSM experience. My mind went blank at this point, because I could only think of one scenario and that involved Master.

I couldn't tell it without His permission and there was no way I could even think of anything else as the events of the diet pepsi enema filled my mind.
How could I tell a room of what were effectively strangers about the day Master filled me with a mixture of water and diet pepsi which well, let's just say didn't go the way He planned, but He gave permission and I told all.

Ah dear lol, well that's my dignity gone for good that's for sure.

Masters turn was next and I was instructed to carry out His forfeit, holy moly............5 minutes of waitressing topless.........I think my face must've been a picture.

So off came the bra and as there seemed little point covering up again I spent the rest of the evening bringing everyone drinks and food, the rest of them loved it. I wouldn't say I was thrilled by it, but it wasn't as bad as I'd have expected if I'd thought about it.

After everyone left we went to bed together, the best part of the day being held in His arms and just spending time together.

Our first New Year together, and it was very special, I don't think anyone there could fail to see how close we are.



"The most powerful sexual organ in the body is our brain, open your mind and allow your fantasies free reign, mutual pleasure between consenting adults is a wonderful thing."
DanesWood

Thursday, 3 January 2008

The Big Bang (A Brief History Of Time Part 2)


By the time August hit my hunt for a new Dom was well under way, a couple interested me, but there was always something missing, Paul was certainly a distinct possibility and so was Chris.

Paul was passionate and an even bigger sado-masochist than me, but there such an intensity about it that the whole thing felt like it would burn out in the blink of an eye, and again there was that certain something missing.

A relationship with Paul would have been based on a co-dependency of supply and demand of our fetish needs only, that fed upon itself and didn't feel at all like I'd envisaged a long term relationship.



Chris was sweet, witty and a lot deeper than most people you speak to in the lifestyle, we met for coffee and conversation and we got along just fine, but the horror I felt when he advised me that he doesn't do long, deep passionate kisses, and even worse doesn't go down on women. How could this develop into the close and loving relationship I wanted? I just couldn't see it, so a good playmate to help me learn, but certainly not my One.



September and I attended my first fetish market and party in Bristol, this I've written about so you can read all about it anyway, but it was a real eye opener and I confess to feeling like a child in a toy shop wanting everything I could see. So still with Chris but most definitely still looking.

October 31st I had a message from Master commenting on my profile on www.collarme.com



"Hi,Just a short, one line message to say:


Damn, those eyes are great! And if you were looking I would be sending a very different message."




And so the scene was set, who could resist a compliment like that?

Within days we arranged to meet for lunch and ended up spending almost all night together in a hotel room, the whole thing just felt totally right, like we'd found our other half.
Every chance we had we saw each other, spending every minute we could naked and often just holding each other and talking, the vanilla side of our budding relationship just as important as the M/s.

November and Master took me to my first fetish club, shame it was empty, only 6 people there including us and the staff, but then again it gave me a chance to look around and relax, I get very shy and nervous in a crowd, overwhelmed.

December and Christmas with Master, my special gift didn't arrive in time for the day, but it was delivered soon after and I'll post a photo of me wearing it soon.

The first Christmas in many years I can honestly say I felt a part of something



"The most powerful sexual organ in the body is our brain, open your mind and allow your fantasies free reign, mutual pleasure between consenting adults is a wonderful thing."
DanesWood