Monday, 17 December 2007

A Mixed Bag

Today was definitely a mixed bag, I saw Master for the first time in a week, we had plans to take His Mother Christmas shopping, but first there was a little time for us.

Master bought a couple of new toys at the BBB yesterday and was keen to test them out, the first was a gorgeous, yet evil looking carbon fibre cane. The second item a paddle made from leather and stippled rubber, both items very stingy.

Today was the first time I'd been present and Master had showered alone, every time I've visited so early in the day I've washed and shaved him as He requested and I have to say enjoyed every minute. The shared intimacy and the sheer pleasure of serving Him in such a small way makes me happy and for various reasons often gives me the giggles.
I sat and watched, torn between wanting to carry out my regular duty, and him hurry and finish so we could play before had to go out. The selfish side of me that wanted to play won, and His shower took a quarter of the time it usually does when I'm there.

I didn't even take off my shoes or any of my clothes, first order of the day was to kneel on the bed to test out the new toys. I can quite catagorically say that they are fully functional, serve the purpose for which they were created, and sting like hell!

A short but successful testing session and a happy Master had the urge to fuck his eager and horny slave, I love to feel Him inside me. Master entered me and then instructed me to fit the nipple clamps so He could tug the chain as he chose.
The nipple clamps are one of my favourite toys, but my nipples are very sensitive lately, and He moved them from where I placed them to a different area, the pressure was quite intense and I just couldn't seem to convert it to pleasure as Master fucked me, but it was not bad enough for me to ask Him to remove them yet.

Master came and as I needed to orgasm too He allowed me to use the vibrator on my clit while He used the glass wand inside my pussy.
It feels fabulous for me when he fucks me with long slow strokes, too hard or too fast reduces the pleasure it provides, but done just right will make me cum quite hard.

When I did cum it was a little disappointing, the build up was there, but the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow was half empty when I got there. I don't know why.

I removed one of the nipple clamps, it hurt far more than normal, or more likely more than I remembered. When He went to remove the second clamp I couldn't help it, I told Him no and removed it quickly myself pushing his hand away.

I knew as soon as I'd done it, I'd broken several cardinal rules, the least of which was pushing my Masters hand away. To say He was angry is an understatement, it was explained to me in no uncertain way that I would be punished, and that He was disappointed with me for my disobedience.
We talked for a few minutes until His anger cooled and I accepted my punishment of 10 strokes of the new carbon fibre cane.

My mind closed down, He knew I was disappointed in myself, pushing Him away as I had done didn't just mean I was disobeying, it meant I didn't trust Him, and in this type of relationship without trust there can be nothing.

I lay there in His arms, Him talking to me softly, soothing me and telling me He loved me. All I could think about was how I'd failed. If I can't give Him so little amount of trust how can I think myself anywhere near good enough to submit completely to Him on a 24/7 basis as we plan to in the very near future.

The rest of the day passed with vanilla activity, Christmas shopping with His Mother and just general every day stuff, with the exception of us checking our ring sizes, that was more than a little exciting.

Perhaps this is just an attack of the collywobbles, I certainly hope so. I've always been my own harshest critic, and no punishment He can mete out can ever match that I give myself. My utter disappointment in myself.

"The most powerful sexual organ in the body is our brain, open your mind and allow your fantasies free reign, mutual pleasure between consenting adults is a wonderful thing."

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