Saturday, 5 February 2011

Forgive me Dominus

I barely slept last night. I zonked while talking online to my Dominus, woke up about an hour later in bed next to my laptop. The rest of the night I was incredibly restless.

It's less than 2 weeks since I spent 2 days with Dominus and I was so horny I could barely even think straight all morning.

Eventually I gave in and plugged in my magic wand vibrator and made myself cum.

I'm dreading telling him, I'm not allowed to masturbate without his permission. I've no doubt there'll be a price to pay, a punishment, but worst of all, I broke the rules and gave in to my own needs. I'm very disappointed in myself.

Things aren't much better tonight, seems the orgasm I had this afternoon hasn't even taken the edge off how horny I feel.

I'm sure many people would think me foolish for allowing someone to deny me pleasure, and for owning up for breaking the rules, but when you sign up for a D/s relationship you accept there will be aspects you don't like.

I could lie by omission of course, but then I'd feel terribly guilty and if he later found out it would damage or even destroy the trust between us. It's not worth that.

Dominus denies me self pleasure, unless I have his permission, but that denial also enhances my pleasure when we're together and hence his own.

So we shall see what my confession brings.

"The most powerful sexual organ in the body is our brain, open your mind and allow your fantasies free reign, mutual pleasure between consenting adults is a wonderful thing."DanesWood

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