Friday, 4 March 2011

Advertising sub/slave Training

Something that I'm seeing more and more of is Dominants offering training to subs and slaves. Apparently not with the intention of building a relationship, but training them as you might a dog to sit, stay and fetch.

There will be basics of etiquette or course, maybe an introduction to the scene. But how to be flogged, spanked, whipped, paddled? These things change with every interaction, mood and situation.

Perhaps I'm wrong in this and would appreciate the comments of others, but how can a Dominant claim to train a sub in the art of submission with the intention of preparing them for a D/s relationship with any other Dominant?

It doesn't make sense to me, each Dom I've met, played with, submitted to, has their own way of doing things and it's irrelevant what "training" you've had with others.

Similarly with me as Domme/Top, how others did things to my sub/bottom matters little. I take into account their needs and limits and do as I please.

I've a strong suspicion as it seems to be mainly Doms offering this service, that some are just looking for easy sex and not looking to take on the responsibility of a submissive.

Of course I could be wrong and will accept that if someone can present a valid argument in favour of general sub/slave training.

"The most powerful sexual organ in the body is our brain, open your mind and allow your fantasies free reign, mutual pleasure between consenting adults is a wonderful thing."


Pygar said...

Thank you for this interesting post. I might steal it at some stage! Though I think I have written about training before.

There is an interesting discussion you have initiated about this on IC but I feel my thoughts are along a different track

I still worry about the whole notion of "training" in bdsm.

Training seems to imply a permanent or semi-permanent change to behaviour and response. That may be fine within a very close relationship. But if that relationship were to end?

The idea that someone would be trained to be a good sub or slave for someone else seems the stuff of fiction such as the Gor novels rather than real life. If it were to happen in real life I would have very serious reservations.

As a Dom I could only "train" a sub into behaviour that we were both seeking for mutual pleasure.

P xx

DanesWood said...

Conditioning someone's behaviour which is what is implied with the concept of training can't be taught in a weekend as this particular "Dom" states in his crash course weekend, or even the 6 week extended training course he offers.

As you say such changes should be for your mutual pleasure, never detrimental to the sub/slave and always beneficial in the long term.

I've discussed this with an American slave who has served many Dominants in various capacities and even he agrees that you cannot just train someone in such a manner as implied in the advert.