Sunday, 26 June 2011

Tranny Spotting

Another extract from my blog about my time with Mark/Sophia. I'm sharing some of my experiences in the hope it helps others
Posted by DanesWood on Mon 2 Feb 09, 7:49 AM.

Sunday was a sophia day for us, we have them often as my boy finds it very relaxing and fulfilling to let out his femme side (as many men do). In fact at Christmas sophia spent a whole week with me doing things any Mummy and daughter do (and a few they don't lol), going for walks in the park and shopping for example.

Sophia has been to the supermarket once before, shy at being out in such a public setting, but I've found if you just get on with whatever then mostly people don't take a second glance, or if they do it's just to be sure they're really seeing what they thought they saw the first time around, yesterday was a bit of an exception.

There we were in Sainsburys just choosing a few necessities, sophia and I smiling and happy to be spending time together doing what others take for granted. We knew that we'd drawn some attention as we saw more than the usual members of staff appear in whichever area we walked through, so when we got to the checkout sophia looked at me and asked if I fancied a coffee in the cafe there, as she felt she was being particularly stared at and was determined not to scuttle away as though ashamed.

We chose a small cake each, well come on I'm not going to pass up on a toffee buttercream muffin, and sophia had a pink and white raspberry buttercream one (little girls love pink as we know and she was drawn to this one like a bear to honey). We got a drink each and I took the tray over to the till to pay, sophia beside me.

The young lad on the till was polite enough, but he could barely look at either of us, so I gave him my biggest smile and then we went to sit down, that's when sophia told me that this particular lad had been staring at us while we were at the checkout and made her feel very uncomfortable, but refused to run off and hide in the car.

As I savoured my cake and for once decent cup of cappucino, sophia told me quietly that the young man from the till had been into the kitchen and that all his colleagues had appeared in turn at the door and had a good gawp before going back into the kitchen sniggering. How rude I thought.

Sophia and I discussed how to handle it, she was all for speaking to the manager and complaining about how the staff handled the situation, their lack of courtesy for someones life choice.

Our main concern was not for either myself or sophia, but for others who may perhaps venture in there on their first daytime trip out. For many transvestites and transexuals if they received such treatment it may be so traumatic they'd be back in the closet never to come out in daylight again, even sophia said it had knocked her confidence.

So a choice to make, just leave it and go and ignore what had happened? That didn't feel right to me, but to make an official complaint could blow this issue up and cause resentment making it even more difficult for both sophia and others to shop there.

A third option came to me, and depending on how he reacted to my opening comment would depend if he saw the nice or nasty side of me. I called him over to talk.

I infomed him that we were aware of his staring, the fact he'd run into the kitchen to spread the news amongst his colleagues and thus them all appearing at the door to gawp. I informed him that we'd been out this way many times before, so had handled such situations and were not phased by it, (not strictly true, but it felt the best thing to say).

He blushed and stammered an apology, he obviously had not expected to be pulled up and spoken to by either of us. He admitted he'd been immature, that word had shot around the store like wildfire about sophia and that he knew others had been going out of their way to look too.

I explained how it could upset a beginner so much it could set them back years at walking out in public. I was tempted to compare it to someone gay coming out of the closet as my gaydar had been going off since I set eyes on him, but I wasn't sure he knew, or of course that I was right in my feeling he was gay.

I decided to be nice, smiled sweetly at him and thanked him for his time, we finished our coffee and walked out to the car, once sat inside I gave sophia a reassuring hug and drove us home.

I should perhaps point out here it wasn't that we expect sophia to go unnoticed, we don't. It was the blatant staring, the rudeness of not even having the grace to look away and on top of that him running into the kitchen to tell everyone else that got my goat.

Part of my Mummy duty is to protect my little girl and that's what I did, but with an eye to others who came before us and will come after. Hopefully I've educated at least one more person to what is and what is not acceptable, and also that people are entitled to make their own life choices and should be respected for that, not treated as a freak sideshow.



"The most powerful sexual organ in the body is our brain, open your mind and allow your fantasies free reign, mutual pleasure between consenting adults is a wonderful thing."
DanesWood

2 comments:

K said...

If this isn't what life is about, I don't know what is. Inspired.

DanesWood said...

Thank you K.

I want people to see what a special person she was, what an amazing connection we had.

She's no longer with us, but she's a lot to say to the world even now.