Monday, 14 November 2011

Is It Worth The Risk?

I caused a stir today with a blog on a BDSM website I use.
There's a "Dom" (and I use that term in the loosest possible way) on there who regularly blogs in an attention seeking way.
His posts follow a cycle, how wonderful life is, he's moved on from the past and his future looks fantastic.
Then his posts take a downturn and he complains about how badly treated he was, that the sub he still loves lied to him and never loved him at all.
He deletes his profile and disappears for a while and comes back proclaiming his love for her and that he'll wait for ever as no other will do.
And repeat.
I've spent time talking to him a couple of years ago when he first came to my attention. I've followed his blogs ever since and find it difficult to understand why someone with such emotional problems is still talking to subs and promising to meet etc etc.
He's caused a lot of upset over the time I've known him and I don't see there being any change in the near future either, but by posting a message publicly to him I hoped that perhaps it would have some positive effect.
It certainly generated a lot of comment and over 1200 viewings in 12 hours.
On the opposite side of the coin I've been introduced to and befriended a Domme who has been outed to her employer by her ex sub, an alcoholic who in an attempt o force her to take him back reported her to the police for assaulting him during their relationship.
No criminal charges followed because he was deemed an unfit witness, but she's about to lose her job because he contacted her employer with full details of their BDSM activities.
Yet he's still out there advertising for a Mistress, even for filming opportunities, for all the activities he claimed she forced him to participate in.
We take a big risk getting involved with anyone where BDSM is concerned. You cannot consent to physical activities that would be classed as assault, yet we take the chance and trust our partners all the time.
We trust that we can place ourselves into their safe hands as a submissive and we trust that as Dominants when we inflict physical pain and marks onto the submissives that they will not use that against us in a spiteful way.
A big ask for us all and no matter how long we take getting to know someone before we get involved there's still so much we don't know, so we take a chance and trust.
Tough life we have chosen for ourselves isn't it.

"The most powerful sexual organ in the body is our brain, open your mind and allow your fantasies free reign, mutual pleasure between consenting adults is a wonderful thing."

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