Thursday, 13 October 2011

Life Is So Unfair Sometimes

Always when life seems to be going in the right direction something happens and spoils it.

I'd been so excited about going to visit the Domly one in France for a couple of weeks and what happens? My flat mate loses his job.

He already owed me several hundred pounds and now not only is there little prospect of him paying me that, he's also currently unable to contribute anything to future expenses.

As a result it's highly unlikely I'll be able to travel to France to see my Domly one and through no fault of my own.

I didn't react well when he told me I shouldn't go as it would leave me with very little money. I felt he was too quick to say I should cancel my visit and didn't try and comfort me in my disappointment.

So at a time we should've felt closer, we pulled further apart.

Stilted conversations. Me trying to explain what I need. Him telling me I'm behaving like a brat and trying to top from the bottom by expecting him to behave in a certain way.

Then in the middle of all this Matthew contacted me. It was May 27th we last spoke and it brought it all back about how well we'd worked together. He broke his promise to his vanilla partner to speak to me, he needed to be sure I knew it was not anything I'd done to cause him to end our relationship.

We talked about how life is going for us both.

I was pleased to hear his vanilla relationship is slowly improving and in time I think will be better than for years.

I explained about the recent situation with my Domly one and Matthew asked didn't he realise that sometimes I just need to be held and told I'm wanted?

Yes I replied, but he seems to think me needing that reassurance is unattractive, despite the fact he was very insistent on expressing how much he wanted to make a go of our relationship in the first few weeks.

So we shall see how things progress. I'm less forthcoming with my feelings now when talking to my Domly one, more guarded, and that can't be a good thing in any D/s relationship.

"The most powerful sexual organ in the body is our brain, open your mind and allow your fantasies free reign, mutual pleasure between consenting adults is a wonderful thing."

No comments: