Monday, 17 October 2011

Does Hope Spring Eternal?

Well from bad to worse. My flatmate lost his job 2 weeks ago and as he can't afford to pay his half of the rent etc I'm temporarily supporting us both.
The Domly one doesn't want me to go visit him in France now because of the lack of money.
Somehow during the discussion it all got twisted and now we're barely speaking. It seems no matter how I try and phrase it things seem to get worse between us.
For me when building a D/s relationship you need good communication and regular contact, that helps build a strong connection and stops misunderstandings like this because you come to understand each other. His opinion is that makes me needy, despite the fact it was always him eager and waiting to talk to me no matter how late I got home from work at night.
I've never asked him to make extra effort and put himself out to talk to me, and when I wasn't online when expected one day he was in a panic, as I was on a day I'd expected to hear from him.
I think the problem is we'd fallen into a routine and now he's suddenly decided that's not what he wants. That he thinks I'm topping from the bottom and getting him to do as I want and not the other way around.
He wanted me to grow more reliant on him and I was, now I feel the rug has been pulled from beneath me and I've snapped totally out of that reliance.
When we first began our negotiations he said he hoped we'd progress to a full M/s relationship, but only if it was what I wanted. I can't see that be able to handle it though.
I'm sure I'm not viewing this from as neutral a position as I'd like, but I really am trying.
I don't think I behaved like a brat. I think I reacted like someone incredibly disappointed that yet again life is being incredibly unfair.
I've no idea how to fix this or even if it is fixable. The less we communicate the wider the gulf.
He wants to relax and apparently talking to me is no longer relaxing, so he's less inclined to want to talk.
Everything seemed to be going so well between us, there was no online D/s but we talked about all sorts of things that interested us both and it seemed we could really get on with each other.
I've not given up hope totally, but it's fading fast.

"The most powerful sexual organ in the body is our brain, open your mind and allow your fantasies free reign, mutual pleasure between consenting adults is a wonderful thing."

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