Wednesday, 14 September 2011


People are so judgemental.
I can't help but be disappointed sometimes.
My Domly one doesn't have much experience in a full on D/s relationship, his previous subs have mostly been interested in kinky sex apparently.
He's made a couple of faux pas when talking to friends of mine in a chat room.
He wasn't to know they're so uptight and him jokingly referring to me possibly being fisted by a female sub I'm friendly with would offend. Not the sub in question, but my closest female friend.
I wonder, how do they expect anyone to just "know" how they should behave. What is ok protocol wise and what isn't.
He asked my friend to test out some magnets known as nipple killers on me. He also said he'd like to supervise on webcam. She found that offensive as he'd not asked her Dom if it was ok and she refused saying it was play and she doesn't play on cam, or with anyone other than her Dom.
Funny then that a few months previously I helped her pull her breasts through some metal rings and take photos for her Dom to help with an idea he'd had.
At the time I was Matthew's sub, nobody thought it was necessary to ask him if it was ok for me to help her. It certainly never crossed my mind, because as I was concerned it was one friend helping another.
Am I wrong in thinking there's no difference between my helping her and her helping me? My Domly one wasn't asking her to play, just help me test the magnets as I wasn't keen on trying them alone and of course at the moment he's too far away.
My friend has taken a deep dislike to the Domly one because of this and I can't help thinking it's pathetic. I thought I knew her better than this.
She knows he's learning and he really is. He's always said that reality is different to theory and he's finding out that sometimes he has to adjust his thinking to get the result he wants.
Perhaps there should be a Dom school. We could send them all away for a 6 month intensive course. Teach them all to think the same and the same protocol then there'd be no misunderstandings like this.......but then I'd not have my Domly one, I'd have a clone.........and I like him the way he is, warts and all.
Currently my friend and I are not talking, not solely because of this, but it is a big part of it. Maybe we'll resolve things at some point, but I don't know.
She's changed a lot this last year and seems to forget all the mistakes both she and her Dom have made during the time I've known them.
He's lied to her and cheated on her.
She's made poor choices of Dom in the past, yet criticises my choices and said she's not prepared to watch me make yet another mistake.
I wasn't aware that friends did that, after all I could've chosen not to listen to her sobbing down the phone when he cheated on her, when previous online relationships have ended for various reasons.
I definitely didn't have to listen to her when she was sat in a car with a hosepipe attached to the exhaust and she was going to commit suicide just 2 months after my Sophia.
Friendship is a choice, but a true friend doesn't just choose the good times to be around.

"The most powerful sexual organ in the body is our brain, open your mind and allow your fantasies free reign, mutual pleasure between consenting adults is a wonderful thing."

1 comment:

beau said...

I'm sorry you've fallen out with your friend over this. It seems so silly really. I guess there are other underlying factors as well.

Don't send your Dom to "Dom school". Discover what you want to do together and learn from each other. Despite what many of the cliques will tell you there is no "right" and "wrong" way to do D/s. Protocols can be so silly sometimes.

I suppose though it is important to learn so as not to upset those who can be easily upset unintentionally. They though could be more understanding. Perhaps it is just a matter of him and your friends getting to know each other properly. It is a shame though that there have been these kind of problems at the start.

Perhaps some of your friends are finding it difficult that you have someone else so very special in your life now. It may take them some time to get used to the idea. If they are real friends they will accommodate the new you and your new relationship.

Good luck

B xxxx