Am I Mad?
It's a long time since I had someone pay me lots of attention. Thirty years ago I got lots of it, so much at times it felt very uncomfortable. Some may think it's a good thing and soak it up, but not me. I can't say I handled it too well at times and hid behind a brittle shell to protect the real me.
Now here I am with the opposite problem, very little attention or time with my Dom and finding that difficult to cope with too. I know he'd like to see me more often, the distance is a part of the problem, but there's no telephone contact and that really would help. I'm afraid talking on msn just isn't a substitute, not unless supported with regular time together in person.
Text is so flat, it conveys little in the way of emotion. You can't feel the strength of his arms wrapped around you. His warm breath against your neck sending shivers down your spine and making your nipples rock hard. Now I have someone who is not only flattering me, but paying me a lot of attention, trying to woo me away from my current Dom.
I'm resisting so far and keeping it flirty friendly, but it's not easy. I'm helping him to learn as he's new to the lifestyle, teaching him to cane and flog etc. I think this also creates a bond between people when mentoring in such a way.
How lucky am I? Not only do I get to spend time with an extremely attractive, intelligent and attentive man, I get to introduce him to good people who will also help him learn. Most of my friends think I'm mad not to jump at the chance to be with him, But I'm hoping my current relationship will get back to where it was, we just need the opportunity to be together and re-establish that special connection we've made.
"The most powerful sexual organ in the body is our brain, open your mind and allow your fantasies free reign, mutual pleasure between consenting adults is a wonderful thing."DanesWood
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5 comments:
Nah, just doing what feels right and not any more or any less. That is refreshingly sane in my opinion..
K
The temptation is there, instant gratification. I've felt that before. So hard to resist.
Strong wishes to you in your endeavor to honor your current Dom.
Actually it's got an awful lot easier to resist temptation, because all I feel is I want to be with my Dominus.
I was uncertain of his feelings towards me and expecting to be hurt further I was tempted by a flattering offer.
Part of my self protection approach is to run away when there's a risk of me being hurt. Sometimes this results in me closing down emotionally, but usually I'll leave because I expect to be dumped and hurt even more in the end.
My Dominus is a good man and I know now he wouldn't deliberately hurt me and if we can just keep talking this can all be resolved.
It is so hard dear Daneswood.
You are right to be loyal to your Master and to try to work it out. You have both invested such a lot in this.
In the end though we have a responsibility to ourselves as well as others. Treat your Dominant well - as you would expect to be treated by him. But in the end we all also deserve some happiness.
I hope this resolves itself in a way that will bring you true happiness.
Good luck
B xx
This comment is a bit late but I am anal enough to be reading your blog chronologically, so I don't know the outcome.
Re: MrMuscles. You may not like this comment but you wrote
"paying me a lot of attention, trying to woo me away from my current Dom."
I must say that an honourable Dom wouldn't do this. I agree with other replies that you have a responsibility to yourself. you have one to your Dom too, many would agree that this is very important. How you behave reflects on Him too.
I would hope that you are free to play with others with His blessing. Perhaps you need to explain that you need more MrMuscles time?
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