Saturday, 28 May 2011

24 hours later

I'm still in shock. What's happened hasn't sunk in yet at all. I've not heard another word from him and not sure I ever will.

It's the brevity of the email I suppose, the absence of any sort of apology for dropping me. Of course I knew if it ever came to a choice I'd be the one to lose out, but that certainly doesn't mean I'm not hurting. I had real feelings for this man and he said he had for me.
Perhaps he felt a long rambling email would be unwelcome and too difficult to compose, I don't know.

So now I'm back to square one. A position I keep finding myself in it seems. Perhaps some people are just not meant to be with another for more than a short time. It's not like I usually make silly choices either, I tend to prefer quiet intelligent men, looks don't matter, personality is everything. So why does it always seem to go wrong?

The only time I've ever been truly happy and felt loved was by Mark Sophia. I don't expect to find that level of connection again, but surely there should be someone else out there for me?

At the moment I'm torn between giving up on a D/s relationship and giving up on any kind of relationship. Perhaps I'm just better off with playmates and forget anything more.

"The most powerful sexual organ in the body is our brain, open your mind and allow your fantasies free reign, mutual pleasure between consenting adults is a wonderful thing."

No comments: