Monday, 18 April 2011


Today I feel numb, empty. He says I'm being silly, that it was of no consequence. The fact that he's been messing about online with another sub shouldn't matter to me? That it was only "3 or 4 times when she needed to destress", that it was apparently non sexual but he won't give me any details of their conversation.
Oh and that a couple of these occasions were after he and I got together shouldn't matter? But that's the point isn't it? That we were together, me his sub, him my Dom.
I tell him everything I do, who I talk to, if anyone has flirted with me...everything. Perhaps I was wrong to trust him so completely and blindly, but I thought he'd earned that trust, despite a gut feeling that told me there was something else going on.
After the recent conversations we'd had I thought there might be some form of further commitment from him, now I don't even know if I can go on.
He thinks I'm being very unfair to him, after all I have a sub, I top others at events, he never goes anywhere and his only physical contact with anyone in a BDSM context is me. But for me it doesn't matter that it was only cyber, he gave her something I thought was mine alone, as my submission is only for him.
All this from an introduction and a woman saying "Oh YOU'RE DanesWood, I know ALL about YOU."
"The most powerful sexual organ in the body is our brain, open your mind and allow your fantasies free reign, mutual pleasure between consenting adults is a wonderful thing."


Pygar said...

But was the issue rather than what he had done, finding about it from a woman.

I do know how essential trust is to such relationships. I do know too how trust can be shattered from almost irrelevant events. Often there are misunderstandings where how the message is received and the messenger become more important than the message.

It may be that he has done wrong - but that it may have been small, something that could be sorted. Except others are now involved.

I hope you can both take a deep breath and look at each other and what you have got and not let others get in the way of it.

Good luck

P xx

DanesWood said...

I didn't like the feeling that she was laughing at me, thinking me a fool that's for sure.

But was it purely because a woman told me? No I don't think so. It huts because most of our relationship is conducted online. We get to spend so little real time together and for him to be sharing himself in this way with another female sub just left me stunned.

We've discussed it, but he doesn't feel he's done anything wrong because he didn't get anything out of it himself and he's not considering becoming her Dom or looking to replace me.

In fact he's totally bemused why I've been so upset by it all and is hurt that I doubted his intentions.

Eventually I managed to make him understand why I felt that way and he's promised never to do it again.

So far we seem to be working through this, what we have is too good to just toss aside over a misunderstanding.

Pygar said...

"So far we seem to be working through this, what we have is too good to just toss aside over a misunderstanding."

That sounds very positive. Good luck to you both.

P xx

Anonymous said...

Hi your blog. I so relate to this post (and the one above..). With me and my Him, He feels his online convos w other women is none of my business. And I've come to more or less accept it, but I get insecure, I just do. I wish I had found out through Him being upfront but I found out through snooping. Yeah not good I know.

Trust is precious. I hope you two work it out.