Kinky Sex V D/s

Just over a week ago I met someone at a friends BBQ. There was a huge spark of attraction between us and he sent me a message on the BDSM website we use to say hello.

It transpires we're from the same town and he lives about a mile from my mother and we probably met when I lived there, we certainly have lots of people in common.

We've flirted and teased each other all week, although we agreed it would not go beyond that in the beginning, after a few days we both realised there was definitely a sexual attraction that felt quite strong.

Interestingly though no D/s, perhaps some S&M if we did get together, but I suspect it would be just kinky sex.

This last couple of days as much as I've enjoyed talking to him and still think there's a sexual attraction it's lost most of it's appeal.

The more I've thought about it, the more I've felt drawn towards my Domly one. Oh he'd probably not mind if I fucked the other guy, but he means so much more to me than a kinky shag, so why bother?

I'm a very lucky woman to have a Dom who is so understanding and whom I know will give me so much more.

"The most powerful sexual organ in the body is our brain, open your mind and allow your fantasies free reign, mutual pleasure between consenting adults is a wonderful thing."
DanesWood

Choices

People are so judgemental.
I can't help but be disappointed sometimes.
My Domly one doesn't have much experience in a full on D/s relationship, his previous subs have mostly been interested in kinky sex apparently.
He's made a couple of faux pas when talking to friends of mine in a chat room.
He wasn't to know they're so uptight and him jokingly referring to me possibly being fisted by a female sub I'm friendly with would offend. Not the sub in question, but my closest female friend.
I wonder, how do they expect anyone to just "know" how they should behave. What is ok protocol wise and what isn't.
He asked my friend to test out some magnets known as nipple killers on me. He also said he'd like to supervise on webcam. She found that offensive as he'd not asked her Dom if it was ok and she refused saying it was play and she doesn't play on cam, or with anyone other than her Dom.
Funny then that a few months previously I helped her pull her breasts through some metal rings and take photos for her Dom to help with an idea he'd had.
At the time I was Matthew's sub, nobody thought it was necessary to ask him if it was ok for me to help her. It certainly never crossed my mind, because as I was concerned it was one friend helping another.
Am I wrong in thinking there's no difference between my helping her and her helping me? My Domly one wasn't asking her to play, just help me test the magnets as I wasn't keen on trying them alone and of course at the moment he's too far away.
My friend has taken a deep dislike to the Domly one because of this and I can't help thinking it's pathetic. I thought I knew her better than this.
She knows he's learning and he really is. He's always said that reality is different to theory and he's finding out that sometimes he has to adjust his thinking to get the result he wants.
Perhaps there should be a Dom school. We could send them all away for a 6 month intensive course. Teach them all to think the same and the same protocol then there'd be no misunderstandings like this.......but then I'd not have my Domly one, I'd have a clone.........and I like him the way he is, warts and all.
Currently my friend and I are not talking, not solely because of this, but it is a big part of it. Maybe we'll resolve things at some point, but I don't know.
She's changed a lot this last year and seems to forget all the mistakes both she and her Dom have made during the time I've known them.
He's lied to her and cheated on her.
She's made poor choices of Dom in the past, yet criticises my choices and said she's not prepared to watch me make yet another mistake.
I wasn't aware that friends did that, after all I could've chosen not to listen to her sobbing down the phone when he cheated on her, when previous online relationships have ended for various reasons.
I definitely didn't have to listen to her when she was sat in a car with a hosepipe attached to the exhaust and she was going to commit suicide just 2 months after my Sophia.
Friendship is a choice, but a true friend doesn't just choose the good times to be around.


"The most powerful sexual organ in the body is our brain, open your mind and allow your fantasies free reign, mutual pleasure between consenting adults is a wonderful thing."
DanesWood

Remote Control

Feeling tired today. Seems all I've done is work, and very little time to myself.

Things have progressed somewhat with the Domly one. I received some hate mail a few days ago to one of my profiles. It's quite obviously from someone I know as they called me by my real name, they also made reference to Sophia's suicide.

Its not the first I've had, it probably won't be the last either. I've a suspicion it's a female sub who took a dislike to me several years ago, but I'm not sure.

I was a little upset, I try not to let such nastiness get to me, but it's not always possible, especially as it was so close to the anniversary of meeting Mark/Sophia.

The Domly one bless him, stepped in immediately and requested access to my account. To protect me from such unnecessary stress he's going to skim my messages and delete any that would upset me.

He doesn't need to do it, but it's a lovely feeling that he wants to do this for me. He sees it as a small thing he can do as we're so far apart, to make my life a little better.

We're aiming to spend some time together at the end of November, if I can get some time off work to visit him in France. I can't wait, I think if we're not able to get together soon one of us is going to explode with frustration.

"The most powerful sexual organ in the body is our brain, open your mind and allow your fantasies free reign, mutual pleasure between consenting adults is a wonderful thing."
DanesWood

A Date To Remember

The 6th of September, this is the 3rd anniversary of meeting Mark/Sophia, what should have been our second wedding anniversary.

Instead of us being together to celebrate I'm here alone to mourn.

Life is slowly moving on, I've much to be thankful for and a new man in my life who cares about me, as I do him.

I've some wonderful friends who share wonderful memories with me of Sophia and slowly I feel myself putting that part of my life away.

I'll never stop loving her.

I'll never forget her, but she's no longer with me and nothing can ever bring her back.

Each day is a small step on the journey of my new life. I've made some mistakes, but then don't we all.

I've wept oceans of tears.

I've laughed till my sides hurt reminiscing about our escapades.

Stumble at times I may, but I still move irrevocably forward, as it should be.

Three years ago I met a purple latex gladiator who changed my life and taught me how love can be between two people and gave me the most intense D/s connection I've experienced so far.

Today is a special day for memories, but with the help of my Domly one I hope to create many new one to join them.

"The most powerful sexual organ in the body is our brain, open your mind and allow your fantasies free reign, mutual pleasure between consenting adults is a wonderful thing."
DanesWood

This Is Not A Romance

Every day, in every way he makes me feel special and wanted.

How lovely is it to have someone know just from looking at my face how I'm feeling. For him to know that I need that extra kind word or bit of reassurance, or that I just need to talk.

We chat about our vanilla interests, about our thoughts of various aspects of D/s. He listens to my point of view, he may not agree with me, he may inform me that it's not likely to happen in our relationship, but he never ignores me. I feel the roles becoming more defined.

Slowly he's introducing subtle levels of D/s despite our original intention to wait until physically together. It feels like a very natural progression I have to say and there's nothing that's unreasonable at all.

His brother referred to me as his girlfriend and when corrected and informed that I am his submissive, he just didn't get the difference at all.

This is something I've discussed before, that it's not a romance, it's a D/s relationship. Yes it's almost inevitable that love will grow as any D/s relationship develops and deepens the connection between you, but it's not the same as a vanilla romance at all. Not in my experience anyway.

I prefer the honesty and openness of this type of negotiation before the real relationship starts. Of course I also believe you will only get out of it what you are prepared to put in and if you're not honest about your needs then you're only going to cheat yourself in the end as you won't find something that will last.

"The most powerful sexual organ in the body is our brain, open your mind and allow your fantasies free reign, mutual pleasure between consenting adults is a wonderful thing."
DanesWood

Tears

Today I cried.

We talked about lots of things, then up popped something that's been on my mind for most of the five weeks since I met France. His desire to have a child one day.

The one thing I can't give him. I'm too old to be considered for adoption. I can't have any of my own.

For years I've locked away my own feelings on the subject because I wasn't in a stable relationship, and I avoided men who didn't already have children so it wouldn't be an issue.

We've already discussed the possibility of bringing another sub into our relationship at some point in the future. I'm not averse to poly, in fact I think it would work very well for us as a couple if we found the right girl.

My worry is, if he has a child with our submissive how could he not treat his relationship with the childs mother as his priority? Surely it's only natural to be drawn to the one who gave birth to your child.

He told me in the most reassuring words he could find that he'd never sideline me. That as far as he's concerned I'd be a second mother.

I just sat here, words failed me as tears poured down my cheeks.

I believe that he'd do his best to make me feel totally included, but would I?

Of course our discussion was hypothetical, we've not met yet. What we're doing is discussing possibilities and we also understand that everything is subject to change when reality kicks in. Some things will work, others may not.

He's reiterated many times that poly is not something he must have and something that will only happen if we're totally settled and I'm happy for another girl to join us. If not we'll just meet others to play sometimes.

He says if things are not right for us to find another girl and I'm not happy for him to have a child with her, it won't happen.

Then he told me that he's in love with me.

Too soon? How can he be when we've not even met?

Strange it may be, but I do feel a big part of his life.

He includes me in everything. His parents know about me, they even know that I'm going to be his submissive.

Knowing and understanding who I am he feels I need him to be very open about everything with me to feel secure. I've never met anyone who has the ability to make me feel so cherished and cared for.

He's not gushing about it, quite matter of fact in some ways, but I'm never left in any doubt that he has strong feelings towards me. That he respects me and enjoys my company a great deal. We get on together really well and that our kinks mesh rather well is a bonus, not the main reason for us to be together.

Every day I get to know him better, he hides nothing from me, including his faults. He's a good man, a decent man, but not a perfect one.

When we meet, if he kisses as good as I think he will, I'll be a gonner.

If not then I'll just have to spend my life teaching him how.

"The most powerful sexual organ in the body is our brain, open your mind and allow your fantasies free reign, mutual pleasure between consenting adults is a wonderful thing."
DanesWood

Perfectly Flawed

It's been a few days since I last wrote anything, partly because I've not been well again. Tonsilitis this time and I'm beginning to think I'm available to any bug that wants to run riot around my body.

Five weeks since I began talking to the guy in France and I'm enjoying every minute. He makes me laugh. We can discuss everything from politics and books to the most intimate of sexual activity.

He's very open with me, he most definitely has learned how he needs to be with me so that I understand where I am, where our relationship is headed.

He recognises that I don't do well with gaps, uncertainty. He also knows that I appreciate the truth and that he must only say things he truly means, to do otherwise would be catastrophic and break the trust between us.

So far I've seen him moody, stressed, happy and tired. What I like is that even at the times he's not 100%, he still gives me 100%. By that I mean he makes the effort to explain how he feels and why. I'm not shut out, quite the contrary, I feel like he comes to me because I give him good feelings and a bit of a sounding board.

He's a flawed human being, so am I and yet we seem to suit each other very well. Isn't that what counts? Not being perfect, just perfect for each other.

"The most powerful sexual organ in the body is our brain, open your mind and allow your fantasies free reign, mutual pleasure between consenting adults is a wonderful thing."

DanesWood