Three weeks loom large

Tomorrow my Dominus goes overseas for 3 weeks. I think this will be our biggest trial yet.

Although we only get to meet every few weeks and spend quality time in the flesh, I treasure the time we spend keeping the connection going when we can't be together. For the next 3 weeks he's not even sure if or when he'll be able to get online to email.

I understand, of course I do. I'm an adult and accept these things happen, he's not at my beck and call 24/7; but that doesn't mean I have to like it.

So during his time away I need to hold on to my submission, focus on what I have, not what I don't. I've some work to do with my subby after his behaviour of the last few weeks, perhaps some insecurities now I have a Dom of my own.

Dominus will miss me, I know he will, but I also know he'll make the most of his enforced trip and return to me hungry.

I'm currently working on writing up my last visit to him, 4000 words so far and still going. When it's finally finished I'll post it here of course, a fitting follow on to Round and round the Mulberry Tree.


"The most powerful sexual organ in the body is our brain, open your mind and allow your fantasies free reign, mutual pleasure between consenting adults is a wonderful thing."
DanesWood

Run Subbie, Run

Yesterday we buried a friend. It was an emotional day to say the least, she was only forty and my last partners best friend, losing the two of them in fourteen months is a blow to say the least. Last night I felt emotionally and physically drained.

As always Dominus was there to listen to me, offer support and a virtual hug. He's going overseas soon for three weeks and when he gets home I'll be going to Scotland for a week just a few days later, so it's going to be quite a while before I get to see him (unless something unexpected happens). It certainly won't be easy without him.

Maybe I do take refuge in my submission at difficult times, I recognise this, but is it a fault? I'm not sure.
Sometimes I just need to be the one who is held and allowed to cry, instead of always being the one looking after everyone else.

My submission is not just about a safe haven though. To paraphrase my Dominus, there are no simple answers, because there are no simple questions. All I can say is I find being permitted to submit and place myself totally on trust into his hands is although challenging, very rewarding.

Dominus is the only one who has never told me at the beginning of a play session what he has planned. I have to trust that he will take care of me, that although he may push me, he will not break me. That he will take his pleasure and as a result I will be pleasured too.
That's not to say I expect to be pleasured and rewarded, but I know that if Dominus is happy, then so am I.


"The most powerful sexual organ in the body is our brain, open your mind and allow your fantasies free reign, mutual pleasure between consenting adults is a wonderful thing."
DanesWood

Mmmmm Pesto

Well I received my punishment, as I won't be able to see Dominus for a few weeks it had to be something he could administer remotely. How did he do this you ask? By sending me shopping, punishment indeed.

My task was to buy a pestle and mortar, along with the ingredients to make pesto. So I spent time bashing garlic with salt and basil, toasting pine nuts and then bashing it all together before mixing with freshly grated parmesan and extra virgin olive oil.

The point of this punishment was not to punish me as such, I did enough of that myself, but to allow Dominus to teach me something new in the guise of a tasked punishment. Although I suspect there may be a physical punishment when next we meet, I don't know.

Anyway I now have a new kitchen tool and a jar of very tasty, freshly made basil and parmesan pesto in my fridge. I tried some earlier with pasta and salad and have to say I really enjoyed it.

Back to the original problem though, I'm still very horny. Somehow I have to find a way of dealing with this until I get permission, I don't think cooking will fill the gap.

As for my sub, for a 56 year old man who should know better, he's been really pushing his luck lately. Today I removed his permission to use a particular chatroom, I'm tired of having to apologise for him spouting his opinion and him not being prepared to listen to anyone else.



"The most powerful sexual organ in the body is our brain, open your mind and allow your fantasies free reign, mutual pleasure between consenting adults is a wonderful thing."
DanesWood

Forgive me Dominus

I barely slept last night. I zonked while talking online to my Dominus, woke up about an hour later in bed next to my laptop. The rest of the night I was incredibly restless.

It's less than 2 weeks since I spent 2 days with Dominus and I was so horny I could barely even think straight all morning.

Eventually I gave in and plugged in my magic wand vibrator and made myself cum.

I'm dreading telling him, I'm not allowed to masturbate without his permission. I've no doubt there'll be a price to pay, a punishment, but worst of all, I broke the rules and gave in to my own needs. I'm very disappointed in myself.

Things aren't much better tonight, seems the orgasm I had this afternoon hasn't even taken the edge off how horny I feel.

I'm sure many people would think me foolish for allowing someone to deny me pleasure, and for owning up for breaking the rules, but when you sign up for a D/s relationship you accept there will be aspects you don't like.

I could lie by omission of course, but then I'd feel terribly guilty and if he later found out it would damage or even destroy the trust between us. It's not worth that.

Dominus denies me self pleasure, unless I have his permission, but that denial also enhances my pleasure when we're together and hence his own.

So we shall see what my confession brings.


"The most powerful sexual organ in the body is our brain, open your mind and allow your fantasies free reign, mutual pleasure between consenting adults is a wonderful thing."DanesWood

Pestle and Mortar

I've always been greedy when it comes to sex, yet oddly enough I've never had a regular sex life. Also the more I get, the more I want.
There's never been anyone that night after night reached for me, my only really long term relationship became sexless after the first year. The sexual side of my D/s relationship with Sophia was rather less than conventional, but very satisfying in it's own way.

Now I have a man with whom still waters most definiely run deep. On the surface he's a very quiet and unassuming man, he's intelligent, compassionate and despite being very geeky is great company. You'd never guess that beneath that very ordinary exterior beats the heart of a man who can take life (and me) by the scruff of the neck and shake it till he gets what he wants.

Perhaps his passion for cooking is a clue to how sexual this man is. My Dominus can make just about anything from scratch and has more kitchen equipment than the Ideal Home exhibition.
Anyone who takes the time to grind and mix his own spices for curry just has to be a fabulous lover.
Just think Jamie Oliver level of passion, convert the way Jamie treats ingredients into a recipe for sex and you'll see how it can all add up to a great time.

I am glad that like me, Dominus does not believe D/s is purely bedroom activity, it's a little more challenging for him to get me to comply though.



"The most powerful sexual organ in the body is our brain, open your mind and allow your fantasies free reign, mutual pleasure between consenting adults is a wonderful thing."
DanesWood

I'm along for the ride

I've decided that I need to take up writing my diary again.

Life has changed so much over the last couple of years. I met someone who I loved with all my heart and I lived a 24/7 D/s life for over a year. Nobody could ask for a better partner and submissive than Sophia, but tragically her life ended all too soon and now over a year later I'm looking forward and starting over.

Mostly I use this diary to record my thoughts and real experiences. Sometimes I may include some of my fictional writing on the blog, but as I publish that elsewhere it won't be often.

Having both a Dom and a sub life is busy to say the least. I'm active on the BDSM scene and for me this is not a fantasy, something just for the bedroom, or to masturbate over. For me D/s is 24/7 and about far more than sex, even though it can be amazing sex.

It's not always easy, you don't always get what you want, but this is a very fulfilling lifestyle choice and many people could benefit from it.

Life is a bumpy ride, but I don't like the alternative. With the smooth comes the rough, sometimes both together, and when my time comes I can at least say I've lived.



"The most powerful sexual organ in the body is our brain, open your mind and allow your fantasies free reign, mutual pleasure between consenting adults is a wonderful thing."DanesWood

Round And Round The Mulberry Tree- Part 3 Pure Decadence

At his instruction she slipped gratefully beneath the sumptuous feather and down filled quilt. Sensitised flesh pressed against the soft Egyptian cotton sheets. She pulled the quilt around her, revelling in its softness and warmth. The bed was high and wide. The mattress firm enough to provide support, yet soft enough to offer a luxurious level of comfort.

Nestling back against the pillow she felt almost as though cocooned. The bed a safe haven, somewhere for he and she to close out the world and revel in the joy they could create together.

Eyes closed she felt the mattress dip with his weight as he joined her under the quilt.

“Come here” the warm tenor of his voice instructed. His arms were open and welcoming as she moved into them. The soft hair covering his arms and chest brushed against her sensitive nipples as he caressed her body.
He pulled her tight against him, breathing in the scent of her hair, pressing his face into her neck, their legs entwined in an effort to be as physically close as possible. Two bodies, but one soul.

A long slow breath left her lips, brushed softly against hairs on his chest so they tickled her nose as they moved. She looked up, his hand cupped the back of her head and he bent to kiss her forehead then looked down into her eyes.

Such a sensual, intimate moment, she felt the pull of him, like the life giving gaze of the sun to a flower.

His hand pulled back and again slapped her cheek. “Keep looking at me” he instructed.

Fighting the urge to scrunch up her eyes and flinch in anticipation of what she now knew was coming she maintained her gaze. Once more his hand landed in a stinging blow to her left cheek then his mouth swooped to hers, tongue demanding access to hers in a kiss that left her in no doubt he was as aroused and passionate as she.

With both hands held on the pillow above her head his hand slipped between her thighs. His fingers brushed lightly against her labia, her soft belly, her inner thighs. She wanted to feel him touch her, yet knew he would take his own sweet time to do so. He intended seeing desperation in her eyes, have her begging for release, this could take some time.

Skilfully avoiding her swollen clit he slid 2 fingers inside her sopping wet pussy. The effort of keeping her legs open and not clamping them around his wrist to grind against him made her sweat. She was so aroused she bit her lip to prevent herself screaming for him to fuck her. To do so would almost certainly amuse him and encourage him to torment her further.

She was so wet her juices oozed from her pussy and trickled down between the cheeks of her arse. His fingers squelched noisily as they moved in and out of her. There was an increase in pressure as he added another finger, followed soon after by a fourth. Never had she been so full, taken so much and she was so relaxed she was sure he would be able to slip his whole hand in and fist her.

“Turn over, let me get at your back.” His voice softly commanded, dragging her mind back from the depths just enough to enable her to twist over onto her stomach.

His hand cupped the back of her neck pressing her gently down into the pillow. “Spread your legs,” he demanded. Eagerly she opened them wide to allow him the access he desired.

Once more his fingers plunged into her wetness, juices flowed freely from her pussy now threatening to soak the pristine white sheets. He slid his fingers out of her tight pussy, up between the cheeks of her bottom and lingered, stroking, teasing, he knew she anticipated his invasion of her anus, but it would be when he chose, not she.

Ensuring his well lubricated fingers did not hurt her, he slid gently inside with first one and then a second finger. She moaned with pleasure and lifted her hips to encourage his exploration.

In and out he thrust with two fingers of his right hand and the nails of his left raked her back. There was a pause as he scooped more of her juices and then pressure as he pushed not two, but three fingers into her anus. She grunted and raised her hips higher. She loved the fullness, how he stretched her.

All three fingers sank into her to the hilt. Arse high in the air and thrusting back hard against his hand she moaned and grunted with animalistic delight. God how she loved this feeling.

Fucking her hard he growled into her ear, “you dirty fucking bitch, you love this don’t you. You love having your arse fucked.”


He was right, she did.

"The most powerful sexual organ in the body is our brain, open your mind and allow your fantasies free reign, mutual pleasure between consenting adults is a wonderful thing." DanesWood